Allowing The Power of an Opinion

One thing I had to learn during this time of transition and change was that for son's/children/mentee's to grow they needed a platform of expression.

I began my fathering with a idea that 'children' were meant to be seen and not heard. Of course I learnt that from my parents and others that came from the same culture. But I soon learnt that the Heavenly Father loves our honesty and wants us to express our hearts before Him.

Hey the Lord is not surprised by your opinions and utterances. He knows your heart before you do. Who knows the thoughts of man better than the spirit that is in man (1 Cor2:11). And yet He allows us to be who we are because He made us this way. Don't we try and mold people to our way because that's the way it has always been done before?

Someone taught me this principle: Consider all the facts; Make a single-minded decision; And settle it with finality; And live with consequences.

I began to teach my children and others around me this principle. because as we deliberate and halt between 2 opinions or places, we are double-minded and inactive and passive and the book of James tells us we are unstable in ALL our ways. We need to learn to make a single-minded decision and learn that decisions have consequences.

So, as part of their maturing, I began to allow my children to 'speak their mind' as such;to share the perspective in things, topics; to make their own decisions about things, but advising them to consider the consequences. I even found I had been taking the power to grow away from the members of our church by not allowing them to decide for themselves what God's will was for them. I would have my own agenda and idea of what they 'needed' and what was the Lord's will for them. Shame on me!

Empowering, growth, maturity means that we are allowed the responsibility of making the choices that affect and influence our destinies.

Have you noticed that in the book of Acts we told things happened but we are never given a 5 or 10 point plan or instruction on how to do the same thing. I believe it's because the Holy spirit wanted us to 'find' our what works for us; to make the decisions and choices that would bring about the same Holy Spirit inspired results.
Have you noticed how the Heavenly Father never 'forces' or coerces you to do something but says:"I set before you.. Choose, that you may live".

It takes patience and maturity on behalf of the father-mentor to 'listen' to the mentee and not constantly want to direct him. I had to deal with that in my own heart over and over. As a mentor-father are there times to guide and direct? Absolutely! But we should always have the mentee's/child's/son's maturity and empowerment in mind.

Responsibility is part of growth.

My Journey

"Dad", my middle son exclaimed."I really am the happiest and the most excited when we are planting, or doing church."
Wow~ My heart was stirred within me. That after all we have been through, that would still be his heart. As a father, that is all I could ever have wished for.
But now...How was I to see that fulfilled for him, for me. I feel so weary, so dispaired!

As each of my sons were born, there was a prayer and a cry in my heart, that one day, we would be able to serve together in great army of the Kingdom. This became a mission for my wife and me, as a father, to teach and train them in the ways of the Kingdom and to lead them to its true riches; to be their mentor and model first and foremost, before I was to any others.

But now, at this point, I felt a broken man, maybe a failure. How can I do this?
"Let's start again, Dad. You can do this! You are the best at it. You know how to reach people. God uses you Dad. More than in anything else." His words stabbed my heart. I don't even know in which city I belong anymore, let alone to what purpose. Oh my heart ached to be able to be the father I had set out to be years back.
So much had happened since then, since the day my Heavenly Father had spoken to me as I looked at my firstborn sleeping soundly, " My son, you are not raising a son , but a father."

This is going to be a story about my journey. The journey includes principles the Father taught me; the changes I made; the mistakes I committed; the fathers who impacted me, both spiritual and natural; and the dream I carry in my heart.
Please feel free to join me as I unfold my personal journey. I hope it instructs you in some ways, and heals me in many.

Where are the Fathers?

“And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

"As I watched my firstborn son, at 7 years old, sleeping so peacefully, this warm fuzzy feeling came all over me. I was such a proud father. To be able to see the creative power of God at work and what is more, allowing me to partake with Him in creating my son was somehow overwhelming.

While I was leaving his room, I sensed the Father speak to me:

“Son (Shaun), I don’t want you to raise a son, but rather raise a father.”

That one statement got my attention! What did that really mean?

Deep down I knew what it meant, I could sense the Fathers will and hearts cry.

“Where are the fathers?”

As I pondered on the revelation of my Heavenly Father’s heart, I knew that I was now on a mission, a quest, not only for my firstborn, but also for my two other sons to follow. The mission would also continue to other sons and their fathers, who I would have the privilege of influencing."

Get the first edition of my my book "Where are the fathers?"

at

http://www.lulu.com/strategy4life

The most difficult and the most rewarding

From the time we are born we have this built in need for the physical touch of our moms and others. We were born for relationships. As a teenager I had this cynical philosophy about how weak the human race is because, just look at how babies are compared with animals, but as I have seen my own children grow and grown in my own relationship with my Heavenly Father, I have seen that we are totally unable to help ourselves due to God wanting us from get-go to know and experience the relationships around us. Our dependence on others becomes very evident and this dependence is what solidifies our need for people in our lives and our bonding to them.

Have you noticed that God sent His Son to the earth, as a gift, but that He didn't send 'a gift' as a ministry gift like a prophet or a pastor. Now, we know, Jesus did and was those gifts to human kind, but He is revealed as a Son . The Son reveals God as Father. Not as some foreign entity who is unrelated. Then, we are told, that we are brought into the relationship with the Father as sons and daughters. This is all relational. We understand that God is the Master of and deeply concerned and therefore provides relationships for us.

I personally believe if the 'world' - those who don't believe in Him- really could see how and why God is God and how He wants to relate to us, it would change their whole cynical view of Him. But since we as the church are more concerned in making members than sons unto God, we have lost the most powerful testimony of all; that God wants to be a Father to us and adopts us as his children.

Relationships are challenging and probably will be in any area of life, the most challenging issue you will face. Parents and children; husband and wife; leaders and followers; work place; social; extended family; it seems that these areas are constantly offering the need for certain ingredients that will make a successful environment for our relationships. If we would take the time to discover these essential ingredients and actually exercise them we would fin ourselves enjoying the most rewarding thing on the earth given to man, our relationships.

Hope you have a wonderful mothers day.

Wisdom

A wise servant will rule over a son who causes shame,
And will share an inheritance among the brothers.
Prov 17:2

What does a "son" do that causes shame?
1. Prov 10:5 says that he sleeps in harvest.
He is not diligent to make the most of favourable times, when he should be making the most of his opportunities, whatever they may be, he rather chooses to 'shut down'. Never neglect the opportunities that are afforded you. Be wise.

2. Prov 19:26 says he "mistreats" his father and "chases away" his mother.
Mistreat-It means to ill-treat, mishandle, abuse, ill-use, ill-treat.
God puts great emphasis on the place, authority and respect of fathers. Its not always how perfect or wonderful he is, but purely the fact that he is 'father'. Never let your father (natural, spiritual or mentor) ever lose his place in your life. Mistreat really is the 'way' you handle him, the 'way' you approach him and your attitude toward him.
To "chase away" implies a driving away through intimidation or force.
Mothers are the bond of the family, the atmosphere creators, the tender part of the family, the affection and nest-er. It would mean to despise her that sets the moral tone of the home and your life. To despise her would be to despise your own moral values.

King Solomon stated that a wise bond slave would rule over ( have dominion, govern and reign over) a son who causes shame. Even though the son is the rightful heir to the all, but now he positions himself in a place where the wise govern him.
However, a wise servant...
(Wise:
A primitive root; to be (causeatively make or act) circumspect and hence intelligent: - consider, expert, instruct, prosper, (deal) prudent (-ly), (give) skill (-ful), have good success, teach, (have, make to) understand (-ing), wisdom, (be, behave self, consider, make) wise (-ly), guide wittingly.)
...will take his place and find himself in a place of dominion and rulership and goverment.
You see wisdom is :

• being circumspect
• being considerate
• being expert
• instructed
• prosperous
• prudent
• skillful
• successful
• taught
• and understanding

Even a wise servant-bond slave-who acts wisely, even though he doesn't have a natural place in the inheritance of the son, will take a place in that inheritance because of his wisdom.

...And will share an inheritance among the bothers.

Watch you don't lose what could be yours because you don't handle 'mom' and 'dad' properly.

And be wise, regardles of whether you think you deserve it or not, it will bring into rulership and dominion