Hey Mentor Are You Hearing Me?

It is such a privilege to sit with a mentor/father and hear their insights, stories of their experiences, their wisdom and to receive their input on issues that you may be facing.
But there are just those times when you wish you could share your heart and soul with them.
Mentor/Fathers have to learn to listen, to listen to understand, to hear the paradigm of the mentee.
It is a skill that mentors should bring to the relationship from day one.
It is a skill because most have a 'sell and tell' focus. (As my friend always says)
They feel that regardless of what you have to say, they have the answer anyway, and generally cannot wait for you to finish speaking so they tell you how it really is. (Did this one too!)

Listening, really listening with your heart
Develops trust
Helps you to understand the mentee
Eliminates assumptions
Creates the opportunity to share what the mentee needs
It is the beginning of a paradigm shift
Opens the door for more intimate future encounters
It inspires creativity

When you don't listen first, you really create an environment for assumptions, misunderstandings, suspicion, and disappointments.
Simply because you may be hearing enough for you to think you have the solution, and you begin to speak from your own paradigm and the danger is you could be imposing something on the mentee that he/she doesn't need or want.
The result will be that they will 'swith off' somewhere in the rhetoric thinking they don't know me and don't want to.

Is there room to give your input as mentor/father?
Definitely!
But the key is to be an empathetic listener - first.
When the mentee, believes you are prepared to listen and understand where they are coming from and what they are trying to say and why they are saying it, they will be prepared to listen to your view - your values and principles.

The Bible talks about being "quick to hear and slow to speak".
There may come a time when you will have to guide the conversation so that what is being shared is constructive and reaching a point of insight and reflection; where the mentee can begin to understand their own paradigm and make the shifts necessary or strengthen and be aware of what they haven't discovered about themselves and their paradigms yet.

Mentor/father, it takes discipline and perseverance to acquire this essential skill.

Build deeper relationships with your mentees
Reveal your wisdom
Make your counsel available
Be a trusted friend