Jesus said: Greater love has no man than this that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13
Friend can be defined as :
Noun: A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.
As Mentor/Fathers we have the privilege of BE-friending our children/mentees; of getting to know them and developing a bond of affection. I believe this bond carries some guiding principles that will build and develop the relationship.
Number 1:
It should never, never be violated. Trust is a precious commodity that is given to us by those we lead and mentor/father. When we violate this very basic and foundational building block of relationship we harm the potential of the mentee to interact with others in the future.
Number2:
Carry this bond in the integrity of your own heart. Its always hard to recover from the harmful effects of betrayal. Let them know, but also show them that you can be trusted and depended on in the relationship.
Number 3:
Give them a chance to express who they are and how they see their world. Don't ever presume to know everything and impose your view on them all the time. You may not agree but when your mentee/child sees you are willing to and do understand them, they will be far n more willing to listen and understand you.
Number 4:
Recognise the mentee does not 'need' you all the time. In fact, they need to learn to listen their own conscience and voice of the inner man. But they do need you to be a friend who gives them support and acceptance. That at times can be communicating with each other, and other times just being together.
The harder we try to be 'superior' in some way, the less intimacy of friendship we will experience, but as we share our life and heart, purpose and they know we see them as the agenda of our time, the more we will experience their love and respect.
Be a good friend to those who are given to you and see your influence, and person grow.
Friday, 15 April 2011
Tuesday, 12 April 2011
The Love of a Mentor Father
Mentor Fathers understand the concept of UN-conditional love.
It takes unconditional love to bring out life in those we love. When we as fathers and mentors attach conditions we in fact place limits, strings and conditions that will control and manipulate and ultimately control those we 'love'.
I have somehow been aware of this principle but never quite could explain it, until I recently read something along these lines that made me so much more aware of how this works.
When we love our children and those we mentor without condition they will learn to understand life ie. how to interact with secuirty and true identity. They will walk in an assurance and confidence of who they are because they will sense they do not 'have to' conform to some conditional expectation that we hold over them. They will never share their heart with you and certainly will not trust that you have their best interests at heart.
Why?
Because really they do not have the liberty to 'hear' the voice of their conscience; the voice of their inner man, to guide them to making decisions for themselves, taking responsibility to take the initiative for their own lives.
True mentoring will always empower the mentee, the child, to the power of obeying their own conscience.
Many mentor/fathers have said to me that there is no "expectation".
But do you know that expectation can be implicit or explicit.
Implicit when I have expectations but do not share them, you can however feel them and sense they are there, and know that if you do not meet them, there will some form of punishment or consequence. Explicit when they are shared and made clear in the relationship and therefore can be measured and agreed to by both parties.
The implicit one is the one that goes with the love given with condition..
I have discovered this one many times. Even when the person or organisation says there are none and may not even be aware there is expectations, they none the less, with their culture and way of doing things, expect you to conform; at times even obligate you to conform. And God help you when you do not.
One thing I can say about the man God used to mentor/father me was he never had a condition or an expectation upon me. I never sensed anything like I needed to be like him or had to act a certain way or attend certain formalities. He just always encouraged me to pursue the relationship, and made it easy to do that with his acceptance and love for me. Yet I earnestly desired to the right thing always and sought his guidance and correction for my life.
But boy on the other end of the stick, I have had men (of God) reject me because I didn't or couldn't or perceived to not want to do it their way. Even when I pursued their relationship.
The unfortunate thing is that when we make our love conditional, the object of our love begins to work so hard at trying to prove that they have value and identity without our acceptance that in fact they do not follow the dictates of their inner man and stay in an immature state. We then arrogantly begin to criticize them for their rebellious -ness, and all simply because they are back-peddling from our 'conditions' of love.
Mentees/disciples/children/followers are desperate for unconditional love and acceptance. It does not mean we do not confront or correct or set boundaries for our relationships and their lives. But understand discipline is different to punishment for not conforming to our implicit conditions that we lay upon them for receiving our love and acceptance.
Search your heart today,
Are you loving your children regardless of their decisions and choices in ,life?
Do you constantly have your own idea or dream that you want to impose because you feel that is best for them?
Do you manipulate those you lead to get them to conform to your view and do they have to 'work' for your love?
Don't say you love unless you love UN-conditionally!!
It takes unconditional love to bring out life in those we love. When we as fathers and mentors attach conditions we in fact place limits, strings and conditions that will control and manipulate and ultimately control those we 'love'.
I have somehow been aware of this principle but never quite could explain it, until I recently read something along these lines that made me so much more aware of how this works.
When we love our children and those we mentor without condition they will learn to understand life ie. how to interact with secuirty and true identity. They will walk in an assurance and confidence of who they are because they will sense they do not 'have to' conform to some conditional expectation that we hold over them. They will never share their heart with you and certainly will not trust that you have their best interests at heart.
Why?
Because really they do not have the liberty to 'hear' the voice of their conscience; the voice of their inner man, to guide them to making decisions for themselves, taking responsibility to take the initiative for their own lives.
True mentoring will always empower the mentee, the child, to the power of obeying their own conscience.
Many mentor/fathers have said to me that there is no "expectation".
But do you know that expectation can be implicit or explicit.
Implicit when I have expectations but do not share them, you can however feel them and sense they are there, and know that if you do not meet them, there will some form of punishment or consequence. Explicit when they are shared and made clear in the relationship and therefore can be measured and agreed to by both parties.
The implicit one is the one that goes with the love given with condition..
I have discovered this one many times. Even when the person or organisation says there are none and may not even be aware there is expectations, they none the less, with their culture and way of doing things, expect you to conform; at times even obligate you to conform. And God help you when you do not.
One thing I can say about the man God used to mentor/father me was he never had a condition or an expectation upon me. I never sensed anything like I needed to be like him or had to act a certain way or attend certain formalities. He just always encouraged me to pursue the relationship, and made it easy to do that with his acceptance and love for me. Yet I earnestly desired to the right thing always and sought his guidance and correction for my life.
But boy on the other end of the stick, I have had men (of God) reject me because I didn't or couldn't or perceived to not want to do it their way. Even when I pursued their relationship.
The unfortunate thing is that when we make our love conditional, the object of our love begins to work so hard at trying to prove that they have value and identity without our acceptance that in fact they do not follow the dictates of their inner man and stay in an immature state. We then arrogantly begin to criticize them for their rebellious -ness, and all simply because they are back-peddling from our 'conditions' of love.
Mentees/disciples/children/followers are desperate for unconditional love and acceptance. It does not mean we do not confront or correct or set boundaries for our relationships and their lives. But understand discipline is different to punishment for not conforming to our implicit conditions that we lay upon them for receiving our love and acceptance.
Search your heart today,
Are you loving your children regardless of their decisions and choices in ,life?
Do you constantly have your own idea or dream that you want to impose because you feel that is best for them?
Do you manipulate those you lead to get them to conform to your view and do they have to 'work' for your love?
Don't say you love unless you love UN-conditionally!!
Friday, 23 July 2010
Growth and Maturity Continued
1 Thess 2: 11
For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into His kingdom and glory.
My initial experience in the ministry, was that 'instructors' tend to focus more on their legacies , on the vision of their ministry, on results and achievements for the gospel. i say this a bit tongue in cheek probably because of the negative connotations this had for me, but I'm very sure every 'instructor' is sincere and pure in motive of what their purpose is.
I discovered that many men and sons of God are desperately (knowingly or unknowingly) searching for the fathering that a mentor-father can give and needs to give. I needed it but couldn't not find it until much later. What I am trying to highlight is the need for this powerful quality.
Paul says in 1 Cor 4:15 "Even though you have ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, ..."
Guardian originally referred to the slave who was responsible who was responsible for the child's early education in conduct. It would be an instructor or supervisor. One who takes care of the early stages of growth for understanding of the ways and conduct necessary in the house. But they did not and could not seal with the seals of a father.By what Paul indicates it's obvious these instructor types abound. But the mentor-fathers are scarce, or rather are not quite so prolific.
From the verse in Thessalonians we see there are 3 areas that mentor-fathers contribute to their sons:
1. encouraging
2. comforting
3. urging
Encouraging means we contribute counsel, aid, help, to exhort, with the purpose of producing an intended outcome.
It's always for the purpose of strengthening and establishing the individual, not for our own benefit. It could include even correction or admonition.It could be a stronger plea to the person even than to beg. To appeal to.
Comforting: Comes from a combination of words. alongside and mythos - telling stories. We are to come alongside with comforting stories of victory and inspiration and miracles so the son or child or believer can get comfort and motivation from what happened to those before us.
Urging: To affirm, validate, confirm positively, and establish as true, attest, declare. To drive forward onward and impel, entreat earnestly and repeatedly,To advocate earnestly the doing, consideration, or approval of; and press for, to stimulate; excite, to exert an impelling force; push vigorously.
Can you see the vital need to bring these components into our mentor-fathering so that the mentee, child, son, believer begins to live in the way that is required of them. This is not a small responsibility. Its not about your perfection, its not about being too demanding, its not about too much responsibility, its not even about being too religious - No! This is about fulfilling the call to be mentor-fathers in the earth and raise up a generation of sons who live for God as God's sons.
Measure yourself on scale of 1 to 10, 10 being dong great and 1 not so great:
Do I as a father/leader/male
Encourage 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Comfort 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Urge 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Where would you like to be a year from now?
Where are the biggest gaps?
What can you do immediately to begin to correct this gap?
Please write me and let me know how you are doing and how you would like to do and maybe correct some disparities.
For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into His kingdom and glory.
My initial experience in the ministry, was that 'instructors' tend to focus more on their legacies , on the vision of their ministry, on results and achievements for the gospel. i say this a bit tongue in cheek probably because of the negative connotations this had for me, but I'm very sure every 'instructor' is sincere and pure in motive of what their purpose is.
I discovered that many men and sons of God are desperately (knowingly or unknowingly) searching for the fathering that a mentor-father can give and needs to give. I needed it but couldn't not find it until much later. What I am trying to highlight is the need for this powerful quality.
Paul says in 1 Cor 4:15 "Even though you have ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, ..."
Guardian originally referred to the slave who was responsible who was responsible for the child's early education in conduct. It would be an instructor or supervisor. One who takes care of the early stages of growth for understanding of the ways and conduct necessary in the house. But they did not and could not seal with the seals of a father.By what Paul indicates it's obvious these instructor types abound. But the mentor-fathers are scarce, or rather are not quite so prolific.
From the verse in Thessalonians we see there are 3 areas that mentor-fathers contribute to their sons:
1. encouraging
2. comforting
3. urging
Encouraging means we contribute counsel, aid, help, to exhort, with the purpose of producing an intended outcome.
It's always for the purpose of strengthening and establishing the individual, not for our own benefit. It could include even correction or admonition.It could be a stronger plea to the person even than to beg. To appeal to.
Comforting: Comes from a combination of words. alongside and mythos - telling stories. We are to come alongside with comforting stories of victory and inspiration and miracles so the son or child or believer can get comfort and motivation from what happened to those before us.
Urging: To affirm, validate, confirm positively, and establish as true, attest, declare. To drive forward onward and impel, entreat earnestly and repeatedly,To advocate earnestly the doing, consideration, or approval of; and press for, to stimulate; excite, to exert an impelling force; push vigorously.
Can you see the vital need to bring these components into our mentor-fathering so that the mentee, child, son, believer begins to live in the way that is required of them. This is not a small responsibility. Its not about your perfection, its not about being too demanding, its not about too much responsibility, its not even about being too religious - No! This is about fulfilling the call to be mentor-fathers in the earth and raise up a generation of sons who live for God as God's sons.
Measure yourself on scale of 1 to 10, 10 being dong great and 1 not so great:
Do I as a father/leader/male
Encourage 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Comfort 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Urge 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Where would you like to be a year from now?
Where are the biggest gaps?
What can you do immediately to begin to correct this gap?
Please write me and let me know how you are doing and how you would like to do and maybe correct some disparities.
Wednesday, 21 July 2010
Allowing The Power of an Opinion
One thing I had to learn during this time of transition and change was that for son's/children/mentee's to grow they needed a platform of expression.
I began my fathering with a idea that 'children' were meant to be seen and not heard. Of course I learnt that from my parents and others that came from the same culture. But I soon learnt that the Heavenly Father loves our honesty and wants us to express our hearts before Him.
Hey the Lord is not surprised by your opinions and utterances. He knows your heart before you do. Who knows the thoughts of man better than the spirit that is in man (1 Cor2:11). And yet He allows us to be who we are because He made us this way. Don't we try and mold people to our way because that's the way it has always been done before?
Someone taught me this principle: Consider all the facts; Make a single-minded decision; And settle it with finality; And live with consequences.
I began to teach my children and others around me this principle. because as we deliberate and halt between 2 opinions or places, we are double-minded and inactive and passive and the book of James tells us we are unstable in ALL our ways. We need to learn to make a single-minded decision and learn that decisions have consequences.
So, as part of their maturing, I began to allow my children to 'speak their mind' as such;to share the perspective in things, topics; to make their own decisions about things, but advising them to consider the consequences. I even found I had been taking the power to grow away from the members of our church by not allowing them to decide for themselves what God's will was for them. I would have my own agenda and idea of what they 'needed' and what was the Lord's will for them. Shame on me!
Empowering, growth, maturity means that we are allowed the responsibility of making the choices that affect and influence our destinies.
Have you noticed that in the book of Acts we told things happened but we are never given a 5 or 10 point plan or instruction on how to do the same thing. I believe it's because the Holy spirit wanted us to 'find' our what works for us; to make the decisions and choices that would bring about the same Holy Spirit inspired results.
Have you noticed how the Heavenly Father never 'forces' or coerces you to do something but says:"I set before you.. Choose, that you may live".
It takes patience and maturity on behalf of the father-mentor to 'listen' to the mentee and not constantly want to direct him. I had to deal with that in my own heart over and over. As a mentor-father are there times to guide and direct? Absolutely! But we should always have the mentee's/child's/son's maturity and empowerment in mind.
Responsibility is part of growth.
I began my fathering with a idea that 'children' were meant to be seen and not heard. Of course I learnt that from my parents and others that came from the same culture. But I soon learnt that the Heavenly Father loves our honesty and wants us to express our hearts before Him.
Hey the Lord is not surprised by your opinions and utterances. He knows your heart before you do. Who knows the thoughts of man better than the spirit that is in man (1 Cor2:11). And yet He allows us to be who we are because He made us this way. Don't we try and mold people to our way because that's the way it has always been done before?
Someone taught me this principle: Consider all the facts; Make a single-minded decision; And settle it with finality; And live with consequences.
I began to teach my children and others around me this principle. because as we deliberate and halt between 2 opinions or places, we are double-minded and inactive and passive and the book of James tells us we are unstable in ALL our ways. We need to learn to make a single-minded decision and learn that decisions have consequences.
So, as part of their maturing, I began to allow my children to 'speak their mind' as such;to share the perspective in things, topics; to make their own decisions about things, but advising them to consider the consequences. I even found I had been taking the power to grow away from the members of our church by not allowing them to decide for themselves what God's will was for them. I would have my own agenda and idea of what they 'needed' and what was the Lord's will for them. Shame on me!
Empowering, growth, maturity means that we are allowed the responsibility of making the choices that affect and influence our destinies.
Have you noticed that in the book of Acts we told things happened but we are never given a 5 or 10 point plan or instruction on how to do the same thing. I believe it's because the Holy spirit wanted us to 'find' our what works for us; to make the decisions and choices that would bring about the same Holy Spirit inspired results.
Have you noticed how the Heavenly Father never 'forces' or coerces you to do something but says:"I set before you.. Choose, that you may live".
It takes patience and maturity on behalf of the father-mentor to 'listen' to the mentee and not constantly want to direct him. I had to deal with that in my own heart over and over. As a mentor-father are there times to guide and direct? Absolutely! But we should always have the mentee's/child's/son's maturity and empowerment in mind.
Responsibility is part of growth.
Saturday, 10 July 2010
And the Journey Continues: Growth and Maturity
My encounter with the Heavenly Father as father and dealing with the sense of lack, I had felt in my own heart, now led me to ask what my responsibilities were as a man, mentor and father.
There were men around me and I knew that my responsibility to them ran deeper than just being a minister or preacher.
Col 1:27-29 To whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory:
Whom we preach, warning every man, and teaching every man in all wisdom; that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus:
Whereunto I also labour, striving according to his working, which worketh in me mightily.
These few scriptures revolutionized my thinking. Paul states that his focus was to warn and teach every single man, to present every one mature, grown up, and complete.
This was is work, his labour; striving according to the energy the Lord worked in him powerfully.
Interestingly, the word striving means to contend, struggle, and labour intensely.
How on earth was I going to do this? Fortunately, at that stage, many of the men in the ministry with me and I had a fairly good relationship, but I needed to take it to another level, so that we could begin to journey at a different level.
It really would be about family. The difficulty was that I was still functioning and viewing most of what I would do through a wrong mentality for what was required of me.
Much of what I instruct to be out-of-balance thinking today, I did back then. I certainly said some totally unnecessary things and certainly had some unrighteous attitudes. But the Lord was gracious to me and so were many of my friends.
What a learning curve!
I committed and stepped out. Now I saw that it wasn't just about sharing or instructing and encouraging the 'sons', but also an element of correction and discipline. But here was the problem, I was totally intimidated and felt what happens if I am wrong.
Mentoring meant I had to get off my little soap box and begin to listen and understand and allow my friends to come into their completion and season of maturity.
Even though I had always wanted that for them, their maturity I mean, it now revealed my insecurity to actually see it fulfilled. Hey I enjoyed and needed everyone needing me and depending on me to guide them in what was 'necessary' for them. Really no-one could actually do what they thought was the direction and leading of the Lord for them, rather I would imply what it was they needed to do.
OK, so I am embarrassed about it now. But how many fathers in the natural still treat their children like that? We want them depend on us and we will make their decisions for them and always be telling them what to do. They have no room for growth and maturing by being allowed to make their decisions and living with the consequences; while being mentored by their mentor-father.
The only problem is that we keep them immature and unable to 'think for themselves.
I realised I had to fulfill my responsibilities, but boy it was going to take an enormous amount of growth and maturing of my own.
When was the last time you reviewed your responsibilities as a mentor-father?
Are you focused on your children's growth and maturity?
What do you have to deal with for your own growth?
There were men around me and I knew that my responsibility to them ran deeper than just being a minister or preacher.
Col 1:27-29 To whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory:
Whom we preach, warning every man, and teaching every man in all wisdom; that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus:
Whereunto I also labour, striving according to his working, which worketh in me mightily.
These few scriptures revolutionized my thinking. Paul states that his focus was to warn and teach every single man, to present every one mature, grown up, and complete.
This was is work, his labour; striving according to the energy the Lord worked in him powerfully.
Interestingly, the word striving means to contend, struggle, and labour intensely.
How on earth was I going to do this? Fortunately, at that stage, many of the men in the ministry with me and I had a fairly good relationship, but I needed to take it to another level, so that we could begin to journey at a different level.
It really would be about family. The difficulty was that I was still functioning and viewing most of what I would do through a wrong mentality for what was required of me.
Much of what I instruct to be out-of-balance thinking today, I did back then. I certainly said some totally unnecessary things and certainly had some unrighteous attitudes. But the Lord was gracious to me and so were many of my friends.
What a learning curve!
I committed and stepped out. Now I saw that it wasn't just about sharing or instructing and encouraging the 'sons', but also an element of correction and discipline. But here was the problem, I was totally intimidated and felt what happens if I am wrong.
Mentoring meant I had to get off my little soap box and begin to listen and understand and allow my friends to come into their completion and season of maturity.
Even though I had always wanted that for them, their maturity I mean, it now revealed my insecurity to actually see it fulfilled. Hey I enjoyed and needed everyone needing me and depending on me to guide them in what was 'necessary' for them. Really no-one could actually do what they thought was the direction and leading of the Lord for them, rather I would imply what it was they needed to do.
OK, so I am embarrassed about it now. But how many fathers in the natural still treat their children like that? We want them depend on us and we will make their decisions for them and always be telling them what to do. They have no room for growth and maturing by being allowed to make their decisions and living with the consequences; while being mentored by their mentor-father.
The only problem is that we keep them immature and unable to 'think for themselves.
I realised I had to fulfill my responsibilities, but boy it was going to take an enormous amount of growth and maturing of my own.
When was the last time you reviewed your responsibilities as a mentor-father?
Are you focused on your children's growth and maturity?
What do you have to deal with for your own growth?
Tuesday, 6 October 2009
New Dimensions
There is another dimension to fathering.
The term used is “spiritual fathers”.
When the term is used for many it immediately creates vivid images that are off-putting. Others would swear by the power of the God-given gift of spiritual fathering.
Unfortunately, both are true, having been experienced by many.
What are spiritual fathers?
The revelation has been given by the Holy Spirit to the church of Jesus Christ. It is solid and necessary.
Spiritual fathers are those graced by the Lord Jesus, to manifest the Heavenly Father, to the church.
Jesus said: “If have seen Me, you have seen the Father.”
Jesus did not coming proclaiming He is the Father, but the Son, of the Father. He always directed the disciples to the Father, emphasizing that the works, the words, and the truth, was of the Father. He openly declared the Father was greater the Himself.
Hence, spiritual fathers are men, graced by the Heavenly Father, to manifest, reveal the Heavenly Father to those whom God has brought to their lives and ministry, to see this work done in them.
Anytime, a spiritual father, begins to take the place of God the Father’s place in their lives, you can be sure he is beginning to set himself up, exalt himself and take possession of you.
No man can do the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.
No man should dominate and control and manipulate others.
No man can and ever will be the Heavenly Father.
Paul said: “You have many instructors, but not many fathers.”
Spiritual fathers will come and go in our lives; manifesting and revealing a dimension of the Fathers heart for our lives. It may be for a healing, a restoration, a correction or an encouragement.
As I discussed in my book “Where Are The Father’s?”, father’s will seal their children with seals of acceptance, acknowledgement, and approval.
So also it is with spiritual fathers, they will seal the sons of God with the seals of the Heavenly Father.
But, they will never own, possess, or demand the sons of God as their own. Man never shed their blood for you, purchased you from the tyranny of Satan, or redeemed you from sin and the curse, so they can never, ever take possession of you, insulting the Heavenly Father, by calling you “their” sons.
Some will say that Paul did in fact say that Titus was his son.
Well, let us take a closer look at this.
Tit 1:4
To Titus, mine own son after the common faith: Grace, mercy, and peace, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ our Saviour.
‘Own’ here is:
gnēsios : From the word legitimate (of birth), that is, genuine: - own, sincerity, true.
So, you can see this has nothing to do with ownership, but rather, true, and genuine.
True spiritual fathers, like Jesus, will always direct and guide you toward, a deeper relationship, a deeper devotion, a deeper love, toward the Heavenly Father.
Mat 6:9
After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
Jesus prayed and said we should all pray in this way.
True spiritual fathers, will not demand payment, of some sort of son-ship tithe.
They will never lay legalistic demands on you, for their benefit.
We have been brought into the Kingdom of Christ and God. The kingdom of God is just that, the domain where the King of Kings rules, and has dominion. It is the Kings domain.
2Th 3:7
For yourselves know how ye ought to follow us: for we behaved not ourselves disorderly among you;
Neither did we eat any man's bread for nought; but wrought with labour and travail night and day, that we might not be chargeable to any of you:
Not because we have not power, but to make ourselves an ensample unto you to follow us.
Where on earth do men and women get the right and the audacity to rule over and have dominion over other men and women?
Spiritual fathers, as fathers have been instructed in the Word of God to do, will nurture and admonish, teach and correct, and seek the maturity and completeness of those they have responsibility for.
Their sole aim and goal, in fact, would be to see the sons of God, be imitators of their Heavenly father.
Mat 5:48
Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
Col 1:28 - 29
Whom we preach, warning every man, and teaching every man in all wisdom; that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus:
Whereunto I also labour, striving according to his working, which worketh in me mightily.
Men have, as they do many of the graces of our Lord Jesus, abused this powerful revelation, and used it for their benefit to control, manipulate and dominate (which is witchcraft) others.
Rom 8:19
For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God.
The earnest expectation of the creature is the manifestation of the sons of God, not the sons of men.
Is it any wonder that church is so weak and defeated, when all we are reproducing is spiritual children of our own kind?
The greatest objective of a true spiritual father will be the sons of God’s maturity. That they would grow up in to all things in Him, coming to the full measure of the image of Christ.
The term used is “spiritual fathers”.
When the term is used for many it immediately creates vivid images that are off-putting. Others would swear by the power of the God-given gift of spiritual fathering.
Unfortunately, both are true, having been experienced by many.
What are spiritual fathers?
The revelation has been given by the Holy Spirit to the church of Jesus Christ. It is solid and necessary.
Spiritual fathers are those graced by the Lord Jesus, to manifest the Heavenly Father, to the church.
Jesus said: “If have seen Me, you have seen the Father.”
Jesus did not coming proclaiming He is the Father, but the Son, of the Father. He always directed the disciples to the Father, emphasizing that the works, the words, and the truth, was of the Father. He openly declared the Father was greater the Himself.
Hence, spiritual fathers are men, graced by the Heavenly Father, to manifest, reveal the Heavenly Father to those whom God has brought to their lives and ministry, to see this work done in them.
Anytime, a spiritual father, begins to take the place of God the Father’s place in their lives, you can be sure he is beginning to set himself up, exalt himself and take possession of you.
No man can do the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.
No man should dominate and control and manipulate others.
No man can and ever will be the Heavenly Father.
Paul said: “You have many instructors, but not many fathers.”
Spiritual fathers will come and go in our lives; manifesting and revealing a dimension of the Fathers heart for our lives. It may be for a healing, a restoration, a correction or an encouragement.
As I discussed in my book “Where Are The Father’s?”, father’s will seal their children with seals of acceptance, acknowledgement, and approval.
So also it is with spiritual fathers, they will seal the sons of God with the seals of the Heavenly Father.
But, they will never own, possess, or demand the sons of God as their own. Man never shed their blood for you, purchased you from the tyranny of Satan, or redeemed you from sin and the curse, so they can never, ever take possession of you, insulting the Heavenly Father, by calling you “their” sons.
Some will say that Paul did in fact say that Titus was his son.
Well, let us take a closer look at this.
Tit 1:4
To Titus, mine own son after the common faith: Grace, mercy, and peace, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ our Saviour.
‘Own’ here is:
gnēsios : From the word legitimate (of birth), that is, genuine: - own, sincerity, true.
So, you can see this has nothing to do with ownership, but rather, true, and genuine.
True spiritual fathers, like Jesus, will always direct and guide you toward, a deeper relationship, a deeper devotion, a deeper love, toward the Heavenly Father.
Mat 6:9
After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
Jesus prayed and said we should all pray in this way.
True spiritual fathers, will not demand payment, of some sort of son-ship tithe.
They will never lay legalistic demands on you, for their benefit.
We have been brought into the Kingdom of Christ and God. The kingdom of God is just that, the domain where the King of Kings rules, and has dominion. It is the Kings domain.
2Th 3:7
For yourselves know how ye ought to follow us: for we behaved not ourselves disorderly among you;
Neither did we eat any man's bread for nought; but wrought with labour and travail night and day, that we might not be chargeable to any of you:
Not because we have not power, but to make ourselves an ensample unto you to follow us.
Where on earth do men and women get the right and the audacity to rule over and have dominion over other men and women?
Spiritual fathers, as fathers have been instructed in the Word of God to do, will nurture and admonish, teach and correct, and seek the maturity and completeness of those they have responsibility for.
Their sole aim and goal, in fact, would be to see the sons of God, be imitators of their Heavenly father.
Mat 5:48
Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
Col 1:28 - 29
Whom we preach, warning every man, and teaching every man in all wisdom; that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus:
Whereunto I also labour, striving according to his working, which worketh in me mightily.
Men have, as they do many of the graces of our Lord Jesus, abused this powerful revelation, and used it for their benefit to control, manipulate and dominate (which is witchcraft) others.
Rom 8:19
For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God.
The earnest expectation of the creature is the manifestation of the sons of God, not the sons of men.
Is it any wonder that church is so weak and defeated, when all we are reproducing is spiritual children of our own kind?
The greatest objective of a true spiritual father will be the sons of God’s maturity. That they would grow up in to all things in Him, coming to the full measure of the image of Christ.
Wednesday, 30 September 2009
A Matter Of Terms
Let me clarify…
I use the term mentor-father, due to some very important considerations.
Personally, I see that every man who sires a child is called to be a father, and a mentor.
A father, not just being a sire, a pro-creator, but one who exhorts, comforts and charges his children, so they may conduct themselves in an appropriate manner, with character, and healthy habits.
A mentor, being someone, who is that trusted advisor, one who comes alongside to show the way. One who mirrors the life of the mentee, without judgment and condemnation.
A mentor doesn’t just instruct, although instruction would be included, but he would also guide, and demonstrate, and develop, a relationship of such quality, that the child would always have a sense of in-dependence and inter-dependence, while experiencing the freedom of being able to approach the mentor, without force or coercion, to express their individuality, in opinions, ideas, and insights.
The mentor will, wisely and discerningly and discreetly and lovingly, show the boundaries, the essential characteristics and pathway to personal victory and success.
Who does this include?
Who should be doing this?
As I have said every man, basically.
We all have a responsibility to mentor-father this generation and the next. They desperately need us. What a program that would be, that instead of devoting our time to building men’s kingdoms and empires, we would be sacrificing our time to influence and effect a generation.
Ron Luce said that we basically have about a five year window period to win the next generation.
What will the outcome be if we don’t?
What will the world we live in, look like if there are no fathers?
Already, we can see the results of a father-less generation.
What would the effect be if we adopted our children’s friends?
What if we invested more than just an education and some ‘nice’ toys for our children?
What if we took out time every week, to meet and model, and mentor a father-less youth? Took the time to understand them and listen to their hurts and fears and aspirations?
Each and every one of us, as men, have been called by God, the Father, graced and equipped, to be exceptional mentor-fathers, to this next generation.
I use the term mentor-father, due to some very important considerations.
Personally, I see that every man who sires a child is called to be a father, and a mentor.
A father, not just being a sire, a pro-creator, but one who exhorts, comforts and charges his children, so they may conduct themselves in an appropriate manner, with character, and healthy habits.
A mentor, being someone, who is that trusted advisor, one who comes alongside to show the way. One who mirrors the life of the mentee, without judgment and condemnation.
A mentor doesn’t just instruct, although instruction would be included, but he would also guide, and demonstrate, and develop, a relationship of such quality, that the child would always have a sense of in-dependence and inter-dependence, while experiencing the freedom of being able to approach the mentor, without force or coercion, to express their individuality, in opinions, ideas, and insights.
The mentor will, wisely and discerningly and discreetly and lovingly, show the boundaries, the essential characteristics and pathway to personal victory and success.
Who does this include?
Who should be doing this?
As I have said every man, basically.
We all have a responsibility to mentor-father this generation and the next. They desperately need us. What a program that would be, that instead of devoting our time to building men’s kingdoms and empires, we would be sacrificing our time to influence and effect a generation.
Ron Luce said that we basically have about a five year window period to win the next generation.
What will the outcome be if we don’t?
What will the world we live in, look like if there are no fathers?
Already, we can see the results of a father-less generation.
What would the effect be if we adopted our children’s friends?
What if we invested more than just an education and some ‘nice’ toys for our children?
What if we took out time every week, to meet and model, and mentor a father-less youth? Took the time to understand them and listen to their hurts and fears and aspirations?
Each and every one of us, as men, have been called by God, the Father, graced and equipped, to be exceptional mentor-fathers, to this next generation.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)