As an accredited Mentor/Business Coach and pastor/teacher for many years I have counselled and assisted many individuals and groups with various areas of victorious and successful living with a focus on living with integrity from the heart basing their lifestyle on the principles of the Word of God.
I have sensed for some time that the Lord has been prompting me to 'minister' to the market place and invest into the "church" outside the 4 walls, with mentoring/coaching and training to encourage and equip for their ministry, calling and function.
I am working on some programs that I believe will be a blessing but I need your assistance.
First off, if you could complete this online survey, it would greatly assist me to assess what the prevalent needs and issues and concerns are in the market place, and thereby offer the right information and direction and guidance to those I will minister to.
Survey Here with SurveyMonkey
And secondly, if you could ask others to also complete, that would really be great.
It is on my wall on FaceBook as well, but I need as many as possible so as to ascertain the best possible reflection and measure of the "need" in people's lives.
Thirdly, we will be launching our new and revitalised w/shop and event with mentoring and coaching; watch this space.
Thank you so much for helping with this, I really appreciate.
Survey here with SurveyMonkey
Thursday, 28 April 2011
Friday, 22 April 2011
Taking Your Authority Too Far
There are few things is this earth as powerful as spiritual authority.
As a mentor you function in an authority that gives you tremendous influence over those you mentor. It therefore has to be taken very seriously and as Jesus said it should be handled as someone who deems themselves a servants and last of all. Not as those who exercise authority and as those who lord it over others, especially those they lead, mentor and father.
I believe mentoring/fathering gives you a God-given authority in the life of those you mentor that has deep spiritual dimensions, especially if you are a 'spiritual' mentor. Now the abuse of this authority and influence through the vehicles of manipulation and control and intimidation, leave those in our care dis-empowered and traumatised.
They are constantly in the battle of their minds, trying to understand and get to grips with whether they are wrong or whether they are right.
An abuse of spiritual authority is in all reality witchcraft!
It very frequently and mostly goes hand in hand with a spirit of deception. The deception leaves those in your charge unable to discern what is actually is going on, and even when they do sense that something maybe 'wrong', they are too afraid and intimidated to make a decision because they are so dis-empowered that they think and believe that it has to be them that are wrong because they MUST submit.
Not many understand this level of control, unless you have been there yourself and escaped and found your God-given liberty and freedom by knowing and walking in the truth.
Abuse of any form, kind or fashion is evil and is a manifestation of witchcraft, even when found in the church. And they all have a spiritual dimension that forms a web in the mind and goes hand in hand with a spirit of deception.
But the control and abuse exercised by spiritual leaders and authorities, goes far deeper and leaves the victim by far more scarred and with effects that take longer to overcome. I believe this is because of the level of trust and intimacy of relationship that forms and takes place in this relationship.
At times it can be as bad as not trusting anyone or discussing anything with anyone because it may get shared with the 'leader'. To very extreme cases you will whisper to the closest person to you just in case it may overheard.
Does this sound extreme?
You will find yourself in a situation where you want to "get out" but cannot, because of fear - not a physical threat of life, but just an intimidation; a fear of displeasing, of doing it wrong, of missing the way, and of being rejected.
To those that have been there and experienced this, it is a very real and indescribable place. Unless someone has been there it is hard to explain and put in to words. Yet as a victim, you suffer the anguish of accusation by association, judgement, suspicion, criticism, and blame. You are placed in a'box' labeled, and viewed as 'damaged' goods.
Yet those have experienced and been traumatised by the abuse of spiritual and other authority, and survived will be so much more sensitive to the feelings of others, recognising the signs and outcomes of such illegitimate authority. Misunderstood, but certainly stronger.
Its a fine line to walk as a mentor/father. My challenge is always to those that have this privilege to walk circumspectly and soberly in the role God has given you as a mentor and father, whether to one or many.
Err rather on the side of too little than too much!
Never, never violate the ability of the mentee to hear and obey the unction within their own heart.
Die to your own ideals, agendas, personal convictions and tendency to label the mentee.
Be unconditional in the relationship and the process of the mentoring.
Never, never take advantage of the relationship, even if the opportunity is staring you in the face- your integrity is at stake!!
Repent of and avoid any form of control and manipulation at its slightest inclination in your life and leadership.
As a mentor you function in an authority that gives you tremendous influence over those you mentor. It therefore has to be taken very seriously and as Jesus said it should be handled as someone who deems themselves a servants and last of all. Not as those who exercise authority and as those who lord it over others, especially those they lead, mentor and father.
I believe mentoring/fathering gives you a God-given authority in the life of those you mentor that has deep spiritual dimensions, especially if you are a 'spiritual' mentor. Now the abuse of this authority and influence through the vehicles of manipulation and control and intimidation, leave those in our care dis-empowered and traumatised.
They are constantly in the battle of their minds, trying to understand and get to grips with whether they are wrong or whether they are right.
An abuse of spiritual authority is in all reality witchcraft!
It very frequently and mostly goes hand in hand with a spirit of deception. The deception leaves those in your charge unable to discern what is actually is going on, and even when they do sense that something maybe 'wrong', they are too afraid and intimidated to make a decision because they are so dis-empowered that they think and believe that it has to be them that are wrong because they MUST submit.
Not many understand this level of control, unless you have been there yourself and escaped and found your God-given liberty and freedom by knowing and walking in the truth.
Abuse of any form, kind or fashion is evil and is a manifestation of witchcraft, even when found in the church. And they all have a spiritual dimension that forms a web in the mind and goes hand in hand with a spirit of deception.
But the control and abuse exercised by spiritual leaders and authorities, goes far deeper and leaves the victim by far more scarred and with effects that take longer to overcome. I believe this is because of the level of trust and intimacy of relationship that forms and takes place in this relationship.
At times it can be as bad as not trusting anyone or discussing anything with anyone because it may get shared with the 'leader'. To very extreme cases you will whisper to the closest person to you just in case it may overheard.
Does this sound extreme?
You will find yourself in a situation where you want to "get out" but cannot, because of fear - not a physical threat of life, but just an intimidation; a fear of displeasing, of doing it wrong, of missing the way, and of being rejected.
To those that have been there and experienced this, it is a very real and indescribable place. Unless someone has been there it is hard to explain and put in to words. Yet as a victim, you suffer the anguish of accusation by association, judgement, suspicion, criticism, and blame. You are placed in a'box' labeled, and viewed as 'damaged' goods.
Yet those have experienced and been traumatised by the abuse of spiritual and other authority, and survived will be so much more sensitive to the feelings of others, recognising the signs and outcomes of such illegitimate authority. Misunderstood, but certainly stronger.
Its a fine line to walk as a mentor/father. My challenge is always to those that have this privilege to walk circumspectly and soberly in the role God has given you as a mentor and father, whether to one or many.
Err rather on the side of too little than too much!
Never, never violate the ability of the mentee to hear and obey the unction within their own heart.
Die to your own ideals, agendas, personal convictions and tendency to label the mentee.
Be unconditional in the relationship and the process of the mentoring.
Never, never take advantage of the relationship, even if the opportunity is staring you in the face- your integrity is at stake!!
Repent of and avoid any form of control and manipulation at its slightest inclination in your life and leadership.
Friday, 15 April 2011
A Friend In Need
Jesus said: Greater love has no man than this that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13
Friend can be defined as :
Noun: A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.
As Mentor/Fathers we have the privilege of BE-friending our children/mentees; of getting to know them and developing a bond of affection. I believe this bond carries some guiding principles that will build and develop the relationship.
Number 1:
It should never, never be violated. Trust is a precious commodity that is given to us by those we lead and mentor/father. When we violate this very basic and foundational building block of relationship we harm the potential of the mentee to interact with others in the future.
Number2:
Carry this bond in the integrity of your own heart. Its always hard to recover from the harmful effects of betrayal. Let them know, but also show them that you can be trusted and depended on in the relationship.
Number 3:
Give them a chance to express who they are and how they see their world. Don't ever presume to know everything and impose your view on them all the time. You may not agree but when your mentee/child sees you are willing to and do understand them, they will be far n more willing to listen and understand you.
Number 4:
Recognise the mentee does not 'need' you all the time. In fact, they need to learn to listen their own conscience and voice of the inner man. But they do need you to be a friend who gives them support and acceptance. That at times can be communicating with each other, and other times just being together.
The harder we try to be 'superior' in some way, the less intimacy of friendship we will experience, but as we share our life and heart, purpose and they know we see them as the agenda of our time, the more we will experience their love and respect.
Be a good friend to those who are given to you and see your influence, and person grow.
Friend can be defined as :
Noun: A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.
As Mentor/Fathers we have the privilege of BE-friending our children/mentees; of getting to know them and developing a bond of affection. I believe this bond carries some guiding principles that will build and develop the relationship.
Number 1:
It should never, never be violated. Trust is a precious commodity that is given to us by those we lead and mentor/father. When we violate this very basic and foundational building block of relationship we harm the potential of the mentee to interact with others in the future.
Number2:
Carry this bond in the integrity of your own heart. Its always hard to recover from the harmful effects of betrayal. Let them know, but also show them that you can be trusted and depended on in the relationship.
Number 3:
Give them a chance to express who they are and how they see their world. Don't ever presume to know everything and impose your view on them all the time. You may not agree but when your mentee/child sees you are willing to and do understand them, they will be far n more willing to listen and understand you.
Number 4:
Recognise the mentee does not 'need' you all the time. In fact, they need to learn to listen their own conscience and voice of the inner man. But they do need you to be a friend who gives them support and acceptance. That at times can be communicating with each other, and other times just being together.
The harder we try to be 'superior' in some way, the less intimacy of friendship we will experience, but as we share our life and heart, purpose and they know we see them as the agenda of our time, the more we will experience their love and respect.
Be a good friend to those who are given to you and see your influence, and person grow.
Tuesday, 12 April 2011
The Love of a Mentor Father
Mentor Fathers understand the concept of UN-conditional love.
It takes unconditional love to bring out life in those we love. When we as fathers and mentors attach conditions we in fact place limits, strings and conditions that will control and manipulate and ultimately control those we 'love'.
I have somehow been aware of this principle but never quite could explain it, until I recently read something along these lines that made me so much more aware of how this works.
When we love our children and those we mentor without condition they will learn to understand life ie. how to interact with secuirty and true identity. They will walk in an assurance and confidence of who they are because they will sense they do not 'have to' conform to some conditional expectation that we hold over them. They will never share their heart with you and certainly will not trust that you have their best interests at heart.
Why?
Because really they do not have the liberty to 'hear' the voice of their conscience; the voice of their inner man, to guide them to making decisions for themselves, taking responsibility to take the initiative for their own lives.
True mentoring will always empower the mentee, the child, to the power of obeying their own conscience.
Many mentor/fathers have said to me that there is no "expectation".
But do you know that expectation can be implicit or explicit.
Implicit when I have expectations but do not share them, you can however feel them and sense they are there, and know that if you do not meet them, there will some form of punishment or consequence. Explicit when they are shared and made clear in the relationship and therefore can be measured and agreed to by both parties.
The implicit one is the one that goes with the love given with condition..
I have discovered this one many times. Even when the person or organisation says there are none and may not even be aware there is expectations, they none the less, with their culture and way of doing things, expect you to conform; at times even obligate you to conform. And God help you when you do not.
One thing I can say about the man God used to mentor/father me was he never had a condition or an expectation upon me. I never sensed anything like I needed to be like him or had to act a certain way or attend certain formalities. He just always encouraged me to pursue the relationship, and made it easy to do that with his acceptance and love for me. Yet I earnestly desired to the right thing always and sought his guidance and correction for my life.
But boy on the other end of the stick, I have had men (of God) reject me because I didn't or couldn't or perceived to not want to do it their way. Even when I pursued their relationship.
The unfortunate thing is that when we make our love conditional, the object of our love begins to work so hard at trying to prove that they have value and identity without our acceptance that in fact they do not follow the dictates of their inner man and stay in an immature state. We then arrogantly begin to criticize them for their rebellious -ness, and all simply because they are back-peddling from our 'conditions' of love.
Mentees/disciples/children/followers are desperate for unconditional love and acceptance. It does not mean we do not confront or correct or set boundaries for our relationships and their lives. But understand discipline is different to punishment for not conforming to our implicit conditions that we lay upon them for receiving our love and acceptance.
Search your heart today,
Are you loving your children regardless of their decisions and choices in ,life?
Do you constantly have your own idea or dream that you want to impose because you feel that is best for them?
Do you manipulate those you lead to get them to conform to your view and do they have to 'work' for your love?
Don't say you love unless you love UN-conditionally!!
It takes unconditional love to bring out life in those we love. When we as fathers and mentors attach conditions we in fact place limits, strings and conditions that will control and manipulate and ultimately control those we 'love'.
I have somehow been aware of this principle but never quite could explain it, until I recently read something along these lines that made me so much more aware of how this works.
When we love our children and those we mentor without condition they will learn to understand life ie. how to interact with secuirty and true identity. They will walk in an assurance and confidence of who they are because they will sense they do not 'have to' conform to some conditional expectation that we hold over them. They will never share their heart with you and certainly will not trust that you have their best interests at heart.
Why?
Because really they do not have the liberty to 'hear' the voice of their conscience; the voice of their inner man, to guide them to making decisions for themselves, taking responsibility to take the initiative for their own lives.
True mentoring will always empower the mentee, the child, to the power of obeying their own conscience.
Many mentor/fathers have said to me that there is no "expectation".
But do you know that expectation can be implicit or explicit.
Implicit when I have expectations but do not share them, you can however feel them and sense they are there, and know that if you do not meet them, there will some form of punishment or consequence. Explicit when they are shared and made clear in the relationship and therefore can be measured and agreed to by both parties.
The implicit one is the one that goes with the love given with condition..
I have discovered this one many times. Even when the person or organisation says there are none and may not even be aware there is expectations, they none the less, with their culture and way of doing things, expect you to conform; at times even obligate you to conform. And God help you when you do not.
One thing I can say about the man God used to mentor/father me was he never had a condition or an expectation upon me. I never sensed anything like I needed to be like him or had to act a certain way or attend certain formalities. He just always encouraged me to pursue the relationship, and made it easy to do that with his acceptance and love for me. Yet I earnestly desired to the right thing always and sought his guidance and correction for my life.
But boy on the other end of the stick, I have had men (of God) reject me because I didn't or couldn't or perceived to not want to do it their way. Even when I pursued their relationship.
The unfortunate thing is that when we make our love conditional, the object of our love begins to work so hard at trying to prove that they have value and identity without our acceptance that in fact they do not follow the dictates of their inner man and stay in an immature state. We then arrogantly begin to criticize them for their rebellious -ness, and all simply because they are back-peddling from our 'conditions' of love.
Mentees/disciples/children/followers are desperate for unconditional love and acceptance. It does not mean we do not confront or correct or set boundaries for our relationships and their lives. But understand discipline is different to punishment for not conforming to our implicit conditions that we lay upon them for receiving our love and acceptance.
Search your heart today,
Are you loving your children regardless of their decisions and choices in ,life?
Do you constantly have your own idea or dream that you want to impose because you feel that is best for them?
Do you manipulate those you lead to get them to conform to your view and do they have to 'work' for your love?
Don't say you love unless you love UN-conditionally!!
Friday, 23 July 2010
Growth and Maturity Continued
1 Thess 2: 11
For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into His kingdom and glory.
My initial experience in the ministry, was that 'instructors' tend to focus more on their legacies , on the vision of their ministry, on results and achievements for the gospel. i say this a bit tongue in cheek probably because of the negative connotations this had for me, but I'm very sure every 'instructor' is sincere and pure in motive of what their purpose is.
I discovered that many men and sons of God are desperately (knowingly or unknowingly) searching for the fathering that a mentor-father can give and needs to give. I needed it but couldn't not find it until much later. What I am trying to highlight is the need for this powerful quality.
Paul says in 1 Cor 4:15 "Even though you have ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, ..."
Guardian originally referred to the slave who was responsible who was responsible for the child's early education in conduct. It would be an instructor or supervisor. One who takes care of the early stages of growth for understanding of the ways and conduct necessary in the house. But they did not and could not seal with the seals of a father.By what Paul indicates it's obvious these instructor types abound. But the mentor-fathers are scarce, or rather are not quite so prolific.
From the verse in Thessalonians we see there are 3 areas that mentor-fathers contribute to their sons:
1. encouraging
2. comforting
3. urging
Encouraging means we contribute counsel, aid, help, to exhort, with the purpose of producing an intended outcome.
It's always for the purpose of strengthening and establishing the individual, not for our own benefit. It could include even correction or admonition.It could be a stronger plea to the person even than to beg. To appeal to.
Comforting: Comes from a combination of words. alongside and mythos - telling stories. We are to come alongside with comforting stories of victory and inspiration and miracles so the son or child or believer can get comfort and motivation from what happened to those before us.
Urging: To affirm, validate, confirm positively, and establish as true, attest, declare. To drive forward onward and impel, entreat earnestly and repeatedly,To advocate earnestly the doing, consideration, or approval of; and press for, to stimulate; excite, to exert an impelling force; push vigorously.
Can you see the vital need to bring these components into our mentor-fathering so that the mentee, child, son, believer begins to live in the way that is required of them. This is not a small responsibility. Its not about your perfection, its not about being too demanding, its not about too much responsibility, its not even about being too religious - No! This is about fulfilling the call to be mentor-fathers in the earth and raise up a generation of sons who live for God as God's sons.
Measure yourself on scale of 1 to 10, 10 being dong great and 1 not so great:
Do I as a father/leader/male
Encourage 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Comfort 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Urge 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Where would you like to be a year from now?
Where are the biggest gaps?
What can you do immediately to begin to correct this gap?
Please write me and let me know how you are doing and how you would like to do and maybe correct some disparities.
For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into His kingdom and glory.
My initial experience in the ministry, was that 'instructors' tend to focus more on their legacies , on the vision of their ministry, on results and achievements for the gospel. i say this a bit tongue in cheek probably because of the negative connotations this had for me, but I'm very sure every 'instructor' is sincere and pure in motive of what their purpose is.
I discovered that many men and sons of God are desperately (knowingly or unknowingly) searching for the fathering that a mentor-father can give and needs to give. I needed it but couldn't not find it until much later. What I am trying to highlight is the need for this powerful quality.
Paul says in 1 Cor 4:15 "Even though you have ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, ..."
Guardian originally referred to the slave who was responsible who was responsible for the child's early education in conduct. It would be an instructor or supervisor. One who takes care of the early stages of growth for understanding of the ways and conduct necessary in the house. But they did not and could not seal with the seals of a father.By what Paul indicates it's obvious these instructor types abound. But the mentor-fathers are scarce, or rather are not quite so prolific.
From the verse in Thessalonians we see there are 3 areas that mentor-fathers contribute to their sons:
1. encouraging
2. comforting
3. urging
Encouraging means we contribute counsel, aid, help, to exhort, with the purpose of producing an intended outcome.
It's always for the purpose of strengthening and establishing the individual, not for our own benefit. It could include even correction or admonition.It could be a stronger plea to the person even than to beg. To appeal to.
Comforting: Comes from a combination of words. alongside and mythos - telling stories. We are to come alongside with comforting stories of victory and inspiration and miracles so the son or child or believer can get comfort and motivation from what happened to those before us.
Urging: To affirm, validate, confirm positively, and establish as true, attest, declare. To drive forward onward and impel, entreat earnestly and repeatedly,To advocate earnestly the doing, consideration, or approval of; and press for, to stimulate; excite, to exert an impelling force; push vigorously.
Can you see the vital need to bring these components into our mentor-fathering so that the mentee, child, son, believer begins to live in the way that is required of them. This is not a small responsibility. Its not about your perfection, its not about being too demanding, its not about too much responsibility, its not even about being too religious - No! This is about fulfilling the call to be mentor-fathers in the earth and raise up a generation of sons who live for God as God's sons.
Measure yourself on scale of 1 to 10, 10 being dong great and 1 not so great:
Do I as a father/leader/male
Encourage 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Comfort 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Urge 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Where would you like to be a year from now?
Where are the biggest gaps?
What can you do immediately to begin to correct this gap?
Please write me and let me know how you are doing and how you would like to do and maybe correct some disparities.
Wednesday, 21 July 2010
Allowing The Power of an Opinion
One thing I had to learn during this time of transition and change was that for son's/children/mentee's to grow they needed a platform of expression.
I began my fathering with a idea that 'children' were meant to be seen and not heard. Of course I learnt that from my parents and others that came from the same culture. But I soon learnt that the Heavenly Father loves our honesty and wants us to express our hearts before Him.
Hey the Lord is not surprised by your opinions and utterances. He knows your heart before you do. Who knows the thoughts of man better than the spirit that is in man (1 Cor2:11). And yet He allows us to be who we are because He made us this way. Don't we try and mold people to our way because that's the way it has always been done before?
Someone taught me this principle: Consider all the facts; Make a single-minded decision; And settle it with finality; And live with consequences.
I began to teach my children and others around me this principle. because as we deliberate and halt between 2 opinions or places, we are double-minded and inactive and passive and the book of James tells us we are unstable in ALL our ways. We need to learn to make a single-minded decision and learn that decisions have consequences.
So, as part of their maturing, I began to allow my children to 'speak their mind' as such;to share the perspective in things, topics; to make their own decisions about things, but advising them to consider the consequences. I even found I had been taking the power to grow away from the members of our church by not allowing them to decide for themselves what God's will was for them. I would have my own agenda and idea of what they 'needed' and what was the Lord's will for them. Shame on me!
Empowering, growth, maturity means that we are allowed the responsibility of making the choices that affect and influence our destinies.
Have you noticed that in the book of Acts we told things happened but we are never given a 5 or 10 point plan or instruction on how to do the same thing. I believe it's because the Holy spirit wanted us to 'find' our what works for us; to make the decisions and choices that would bring about the same Holy Spirit inspired results.
Have you noticed how the Heavenly Father never 'forces' or coerces you to do something but says:"I set before you.. Choose, that you may live".
It takes patience and maturity on behalf of the father-mentor to 'listen' to the mentee and not constantly want to direct him. I had to deal with that in my own heart over and over. As a mentor-father are there times to guide and direct? Absolutely! But we should always have the mentee's/child's/son's maturity and empowerment in mind.
Responsibility is part of growth.
I began my fathering with a idea that 'children' were meant to be seen and not heard. Of course I learnt that from my parents and others that came from the same culture. But I soon learnt that the Heavenly Father loves our honesty and wants us to express our hearts before Him.
Hey the Lord is not surprised by your opinions and utterances. He knows your heart before you do. Who knows the thoughts of man better than the spirit that is in man (1 Cor2:11). And yet He allows us to be who we are because He made us this way. Don't we try and mold people to our way because that's the way it has always been done before?
Someone taught me this principle: Consider all the facts; Make a single-minded decision; And settle it with finality; And live with consequences.
I began to teach my children and others around me this principle. because as we deliberate and halt between 2 opinions or places, we are double-minded and inactive and passive and the book of James tells us we are unstable in ALL our ways. We need to learn to make a single-minded decision and learn that decisions have consequences.
So, as part of their maturing, I began to allow my children to 'speak their mind' as such;to share the perspective in things, topics; to make their own decisions about things, but advising them to consider the consequences. I even found I had been taking the power to grow away from the members of our church by not allowing them to decide for themselves what God's will was for them. I would have my own agenda and idea of what they 'needed' and what was the Lord's will for them. Shame on me!
Empowering, growth, maturity means that we are allowed the responsibility of making the choices that affect and influence our destinies.
Have you noticed that in the book of Acts we told things happened but we are never given a 5 or 10 point plan or instruction on how to do the same thing. I believe it's because the Holy spirit wanted us to 'find' our what works for us; to make the decisions and choices that would bring about the same Holy Spirit inspired results.
Have you noticed how the Heavenly Father never 'forces' or coerces you to do something but says:"I set before you.. Choose, that you may live".
It takes patience and maturity on behalf of the father-mentor to 'listen' to the mentee and not constantly want to direct him. I had to deal with that in my own heart over and over. As a mentor-father are there times to guide and direct? Absolutely! But we should always have the mentee's/child's/son's maturity and empowerment in mind.
Responsibility is part of growth.
Saturday, 10 July 2010
And the Journey Continues: Growth and Maturity
My encounter with the Heavenly Father as father and dealing with the sense of lack, I had felt in my own heart, now led me to ask what my responsibilities were as a man, mentor and father.
There were men around me and I knew that my responsibility to them ran deeper than just being a minister or preacher.
Col 1:27-29 To whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory:
Whom we preach, warning every man, and teaching every man in all wisdom; that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus:
Whereunto I also labour, striving according to his working, which worketh in me mightily.
These few scriptures revolutionized my thinking. Paul states that his focus was to warn and teach every single man, to present every one mature, grown up, and complete.
This was is work, his labour; striving according to the energy the Lord worked in him powerfully.
Interestingly, the word striving means to contend, struggle, and labour intensely.
How on earth was I going to do this? Fortunately, at that stage, many of the men in the ministry with me and I had a fairly good relationship, but I needed to take it to another level, so that we could begin to journey at a different level.
It really would be about family. The difficulty was that I was still functioning and viewing most of what I would do through a wrong mentality for what was required of me.
Much of what I instruct to be out-of-balance thinking today, I did back then. I certainly said some totally unnecessary things and certainly had some unrighteous attitudes. But the Lord was gracious to me and so were many of my friends.
What a learning curve!
I committed and stepped out. Now I saw that it wasn't just about sharing or instructing and encouraging the 'sons', but also an element of correction and discipline. But here was the problem, I was totally intimidated and felt what happens if I am wrong.
Mentoring meant I had to get off my little soap box and begin to listen and understand and allow my friends to come into their completion and season of maturity.
Even though I had always wanted that for them, their maturity I mean, it now revealed my insecurity to actually see it fulfilled. Hey I enjoyed and needed everyone needing me and depending on me to guide them in what was 'necessary' for them. Really no-one could actually do what they thought was the direction and leading of the Lord for them, rather I would imply what it was they needed to do.
OK, so I am embarrassed about it now. But how many fathers in the natural still treat their children like that? We want them depend on us and we will make their decisions for them and always be telling them what to do. They have no room for growth and maturing by being allowed to make their decisions and living with the consequences; while being mentored by their mentor-father.
The only problem is that we keep them immature and unable to 'think for themselves.
I realised I had to fulfill my responsibilities, but boy it was going to take an enormous amount of growth and maturing of my own.
When was the last time you reviewed your responsibilities as a mentor-father?
Are you focused on your children's growth and maturity?
What do you have to deal with for your own growth?
There were men around me and I knew that my responsibility to them ran deeper than just being a minister or preacher.
Col 1:27-29 To whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory:
Whom we preach, warning every man, and teaching every man in all wisdom; that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus:
Whereunto I also labour, striving according to his working, which worketh in me mightily.
These few scriptures revolutionized my thinking. Paul states that his focus was to warn and teach every single man, to present every one mature, grown up, and complete.
This was is work, his labour; striving according to the energy the Lord worked in him powerfully.
Interestingly, the word striving means to contend, struggle, and labour intensely.
How on earth was I going to do this? Fortunately, at that stage, many of the men in the ministry with me and I had a fairly good relationship, but I needed to take it to another level, so that we could begin to journey at a different level.
It really would be about family. The difficulty was that I was still functioning and viewing most of what I would do through a wrong mentality for what was required of me.
Much of what I instruct to be out-of-balance thinking today, I did back then. I certainly said some totally unnecessary things and certainly had some unrighteous attitudes. But the Lord was gracious to me and so were many of my friends.
What a learning curve!
I committed and stepped out. Now I saw that it wasn't just about sharing or instructing and encouraging the 'sons', but also an element of correction and discipline. But here was the problem, I was totally intimidated and felt what happens if I am wrong.
Mentoring meant I had to get off my little soap box and begin to listen and understand and allow my friends to come into their completion and season of maturity.
Even though I had always wanted that for them, their maturity I mean, it now revealed my insecurity to actually see it fulfilled. Hey I enjoyed and needed everyone needing me and depending on me to guide them in what was 'necessary' for them. Really no-one could actually do what they thought was the direction and leading of the Lord for them, rather I would imply what it was they needed to do.
OK, so I am embarrassed about it now. But how many fathers in the natural still treat their children like that? We want them depend on us and we will make their decisions for them and always be telling them what to do. They have no room for growth and maturing by being allowed to make their decisions and living with the consequences; while being mentored by their mentor-father.
The only problem is that we keep them immature and unable to 'think for themselves.
I realised I had to fulfill my responsibilities, but boy it was going to take an enormous amount of growth and maturing of my own.
When was the last time you reviewed your responsibilities as a mentor-father?
Are you focused on your children's growth and maturity?
What do you have to deal with for your own growth?
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