"Dad", my middle son exclaimed."I really am the happiest and the most excited when we are planting, or doing church."
Wow~ My heart was stirred within me. That after all we have been through, that would still be his heart. As a father, that is all I could ever have wished for.
But now...How was I to see that fulfilled for him, for me. I feel so weary, so dispaired!
As each of my sons were born, there was a prayer and a cry in my heart, that one day, we would be able to serve together in great army of the Kingdom. This became a mission for my wife and me, as a father, to teach and train them in the ways of the Kingdom and to lead them to its true riches; to be their mentor and model first and foremost, before I was to any others.
But now, at this point, I felt a broken man, maybe a failure. How can I do this?
"Let's start again, Dad. You can do this! You are the best at it. You know how to reach people. God uses you Dad. More than in anything else." His words stabbed my heart. I don't even know in which city I belong anymore, let alone to what purpose. Oh my heart ached to be able to be the father I had set out to be years back.
So much had happened since then, since the day my Heavenly Father had spoken to me as I looked at my firstborn sleeping soundly, " My son, you are not raising a son , but a father."
This is going to be a story about my journey. The journey includes principles the Father taught me; the changes I made; the mistakes I committed; the fathers who impacted me, both spiritual and natural; and the dream I carry in my heart.
Please feel free to join me as I unfold my personal journey. I hope it instructs you in some ways, and heals me in many.
