There is another dimension to fathering.
The term used is “spiritual fathers”.
When the term is used for many it immediately creates vivid images that are off-putting. Others would swear by the power of the God-given gift of spiritual fathering.
Unfortunately, both are true, having been experienced by many.
What are spiritual fathers?
The revelation has been given by the Holy Spirit to the church of Jesus Christ. It is solid and necessary.
Spiritual fathers are those graced by the Lord Jesus, to manifest the Heavenly Father, to the church.
Jesus said: “If have seen Me, you have seen the Father.”
Jesus did not coming proclaiming He is the Father, but the Son, of the Father. He always directed the disciples to the Father, emphasizing that the works, the words, and the truth, was of the Father. He openly declared the Father was greater the Himself.
Hence, spiritual fathers are men, graced by the Heavenly Father, to manifest, reveal the Heavenly Father to those whom God has brought to their lives and ministry, to see this work done in them.
Anytime, a spiritual father, begins to take the place of God the Father’s place in their lives, you can be sure he is beginning to set himself up, exalt himself and take possession of you.
No man can do the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.
No man should dominate and control and manipulate others.
No man can and ever will be the Heavenly Father.
Paul said: “You have many instructors, but not many fathers.”
Spiritual fathers will come and go in our lives; manifesting and revealing a dimension of the Fathers heart for our lives. It may be for a healing, a restoration, a correction or an encouragement.
As I discussed in my book “Where Are The Father’s?”, father’s will seal their children with seals of acceptance, acknowledgement, and approval.
So also it is with spiritual fathers, they will seal the sons of God with the seals of the Heavenly Father.
But, they will never own, possess, or demand the sons of God as their own. Man never shed their blood for you, purchased you from the tyranny of Satan, or redeemed you from sin and the curse, so they can never, ever take possession of you, insulting the Heavenly Father, by calling you “their” sons.
Some will say that Paul did in fact say that Titus was his son.
Well, let us take a closer look at this.
Tit 1:4
To Titus, mine own son after the common faith: Grace, mercy, and peace, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ our Saviour.
‘Own’ here is:
gnēsios : From the word legitimate (of birth), that is, genuine: - own, sincerity, true.
So, you can see this has nothing to do with ownership, but rather, true, and genuine.
True spiritual fathers, like Jesus, will always direct and guide you toward, a deeper relationship, a deeper devotion, a deeper love, toward the Heavenly Father.
Mat 6:9
After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
Jesus prayed and said we should all pray in this way.
True spiritual fathers, will not demand payment, of some sort of son-ship tithe.
They will never lay legalistic demands on you, for their benefit.
We have been brought into the Kingdom of Christ and God. The kingdom of God is just that, the domain where the King of Kings rules, and has dominion. It is the Kings domain.
2Th 3:7
For yourselves know how ye ought to follow us: for we behaved not ourselves disorderly among you;
Neither did we eat any man's bread for nought; but wrought with labour and travail night and day, that we might not be chargeable to any of you:
Not because we have not power, but to make ourselves an ensample unto you to follow us.
Where on earth do men and women get the right and the audacity to rule over and have dominion over other men and women?
Spiritual fathers, as fathers have been instructed in the Word of God to do, will nurture and admonish, teach and correct, and seek the maturity and completeness of those they have responsibility for.
Their sole aim and goal, in fact, would be to see the sons of God, be imitators of their Heavenly father.
Mat 5:48
Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
Col 1:28 - 29
Whom we preach, warning every man, and teaching every man in all wisdom; that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus:
Whereunto I also labour, striving according to his working, which worketh in me mightily.
Men have, as they do many of the graces of our Lord Jesus, abused this powerful revelation, and used it for their benefit to control, manipulate and dominate (which is witchcraft) others.
Rom 8:19
For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God.
The earnest expectation of the creature is the manifestation of the sons of God, not the sons of men.
Is it any wonder that church is so weak and defeated, when all we are reproducing is spiritual children of our own kind?
The greatest objective of a true spiritual father will be the sons of God’s maturity. That they would grow up in to all things in Him, coming to the full measure of the image of Christ.
Tuesday 6 October 2009
Wednesday 30 September 2009
A Matter Of Terms
Let me clarify…
I use the term mentor-father, due to some very important considerations.
Personally, I see that every man who sires a child is called to be a father, and a mentor.
A father, not just being a sire, a pro-creator, but one who exhorts, comforts and charges his children, so they may conduct themselves in an appropriate manner, with character, and healthy habits.
A mentor, being someone, who is that trusted advisor, one who comes alongside to show the way. One who mirrors the life of the mentee, without judgment and condemnation.
A mentor doesn’t just instruct, although instruction would be included, but he would also guide, and demonstrate, and develop, a relationship of such quality, that the child would always have a sense of in-dependence and inter-dependence, while experiencing the freedom of being able to approach the mentor, without force or coercion, to express their individuality, in opinions, ideas, and insights.
The mentor will, wisely and discerningly and discreetly and lovingly, show the boundaries, the essential characteristics and pathway to personal victory and success.
Who does this include?
Who should be doing this?
As I have said every man, basically.
We all have a responsibility to mentor-father this generation and the next. They desperately need us. What a program that would be, that instead of devoting our time to building men’s kingdoms and empires, we would be sacrificing our time to influence and effect a generation.
Ron Luce said that we basically have about a five year window period to win the next generation.
What will the outcome be if we don’t?
What will the world we live in, look like if there are no fathers?
Already, we can see the results of a father-less generation.
What would the effect be if we adopted our children’s friends?
What if we invested more than just an education and some ‘nice’ toys for our children?
What if we took out time every week, to meet and model, and mentor a father-less youth? Took the time to understand them and listen to their hurts and fears and aspirations?
Each and every one of us, as men, have been called by God, the Father, graced and equipped, to be exceptional mentor-fathers, to this next generation.
I use the term mentor-father, due to some very important considerations.
Personally, I see that every man who sires a child is called to be a father, and a mentor.
A father, not just being a sire, a pro-creator, but one who exhorts, comforts and charges his children, so they may conduct themselves in an appropriate manner, with character, and healthy habits.
A mentor, being someone, who is that trusted advisor, one who comes alongside to show the way. One who mirrors the life of the mentee, without judgment and condemnation.
A mentor doesn’t just instruct, although instruction would be included, but he would also guide, and demonstrate, and develop, a relationship of such quality, that the child would always have a sense of in-dependence and inter-dependence, while experiencing the freedom of being able to approach the mentor, without force or coercion, to express their individuality, in opinions, ideas, and insights.
The mentor will, wisely and discerningly and discreetly and lovingly, show the boundaries, the essential characteristics and pathway to personal victory and success.
Who does this include?
Who should be doing this?
As I have said every man, basically.
We all have a responsibility to mentor-father this generation and the next. They desperately need us. What a program that would be, that instead of devoting our time to building men’s kingdoms and empires, we would be sacrificing our time to influence and effect a generation.
Ron Luce said that we basically have about a five year window period to win the next generation.
What will the outcome be if we don’t?
What will the world we live in, look like if there are no fathers?
Already, we can see the results of a father-less generation.
What would the effect be if we adopted our children’s friends?
What if we invested more than just an education and some ‘nice’ toys for our children?
What if we took out time every week, to meet and model, and mentor a father-less youth? Took the time to understand them and listen to their hurts and fears and aspirations?
Each and every one of us, as men, have been called by God, the Father, graced and equipped, to be exceptional mentor-fathers, to this next generation.
Tuesday 30 June 2009
Change The Course
The challenge in my own life, was the need for me to apply what I was being led to learn.
In my own children's lives, I could see that unless I made a concerted choice to apply the principles of mentor-fathering, the "generational curse" of a lack of mentor-fathering would continue in my sons lives to their sons and their sons sons. What a disaster, if I were to teach this to others and yet have failed the most important people in my life - my sons.
I made a decision to change the course of the family tree, and begin to invest in them. I studied their personalities and character. I sought, on every occasion to impress upon them their way of doing things, their heart attitude toward things and their security as sons of God. As often as I could I would affirm, acknowledge and express my acceptance of them.
Being a young father myself, without a good model of a physical father, I certainly didn't get it right all the time, but I was determined that I would give them the best platform I could, from which they could have a better model or view of what a mentor-father would be.
It wasn't easy, I can tell you. But I had grace to keep pressing through the obstacles. Today, I proud of our sons (my wife and me). Not of what I have accomplished by any means, but by their depth of character to take what I have tried to impart and live it, successfully.
In my own children's lives, I could see that unless I made a concerted choice to apply the principles of mentor-fathering, the "generational curse" of a lack of mentor-fathering would continue in my sons lives to their sons and their sons sons. What a disaster, if I were to teach this to others and yet have failed the most important people in my life - my sons.
I made a decision to change the course of the family tree, and begin to invest in them. I studied their personalities and character. I sought, on every occasion to impress upon them their way of doing things, their heart attitude toward things and their security as sons of God. As often as I could I would affirm, acknowledge and express my acceptance of them.
Being a young father myself, without a good model of a physical father, I certainly didn't get it right all the time, but I was determined that I would give them the best platform I could, from which they could have a better model or view of what a mentor-father would be.
It wasn't easy, I can tell you. But I had grace to keep pressing through the obstacles. Today, I proud of our sons (my wife and me). Not of what I have accomplished by any means, but by their depth of character to take what I have tried to impart and live it, successfully.
The Call For Mentor-Fathers
I see a problem in today's mentor-fathers, that they take positions over others without knowing really what they are doing.
Fathering is an impartation. It's something you receive from someone who is a mentor-father. We are trying desperately in the world and the church to make what has been lost with books and CD's and seminars and DVD's etc. So, the result being we have individuals trying to be mentor-fathers out of a mental knowledge of being one.
Although this is necesssary and certainly contributes to the lack and assists with building skills, as with everythng today, we are attempting to replace the way it is designd to be caught and imparted, with instant solutions.
A man that has not grown up with parental oversight, especially a father's input and model, will find himself struggling to effectively raise children of his own. He is lacking in some areas the ability to impart character and direction to his children. Unless he makes a concerted effort to study the ways of a parent and father and seeks out the modelling of a reasonably successful father, he will always find his mentor-fathering, specifically, flawed. Please understand, I am not saying it cannot be done, but generally, father's are too busy and too unconcerned to put in this kind of effort it may require of them.
Hence the desperate need for mentor-fathers in our world today. Those that will be willing to take up the 'cause' for another generation. Everywhere people are driving themselves to accomplish more, be more popular, establish greater fame for themselves, gather more, but where are those that will say they are willing for another generation, take a step back and be the mentor-father's this generation needs?
There are children everywhere, and men, young men, who need mentor-fathers to show them the way. next door, at the work-place, in your community, in your family.
Fathering is an impartation. It's something you receive from someone who is a mentor-father. We are trying desperately in the world and the church to make what has been lost with books and CD's and seminars and DVD's etc. So, the result being we have individuals trying to be mentor-fathers out of a mental knowledge of being one.
Although this is necesssary and certainly contributes to the lack and assists with building skills, as with everythng today, we are attempting to replace the way it is designd to be caught and imparted, with instant solutions.
A man that has not grown up with parental oversight, especially a father's input and model, will find himself struggling to effectively raise children of his own. He is lacking in some areas the ability to impart character and direction to his children. Unless he makes a concerted effort to study the ways of a parent and father and seeks out the modelling of a reasonably successful father, he will always find his mentor-fathering, specifically, flawed. Please understand, I am not saying it cannot be done, but generally, father's are too busy and too unconcerned to put in this kind of effort it may require of them.
Hence the desperate need for mentor-fathers in our world today. Those that will be willing to take up the 'cause' for another generation. Everywhere people are driving themselves to accomplish more, be more popular, establish greater fame for themselves, gather more, but where are those that will say they are willing for another generation, take a step back and be the mentor-father's this generation needs?
There are children everywhere, and men, young men, who need mentor-fathers to show them the way. next door, at the work-place, in your community, in your family.
Friday 19 June 2009
Who's Your Daddy?
What I noticed over the years is how men want to be a father before they have been a son. For my son to be a good father, he will have to learn to be a good son or child first. He has observed my ways within the family, with his mother and with other social contacts. He has observed my way within my responsibilities and roles that I have taken on in my life. All this has imparted to him a way of being himself but with a constitution, with character, with guidelines, with principles.
All over the world we see the results of children growing up without fathers, a generation without mentors. We don't realise when we are young that we need a father/mentor in our lives. We cannot bypass this stage in our lives, this need, this input in our lives. Not physiologically, emotionally or spiritually.
We need the journey, the process, the relationship of a mentor-father in our life, which will give us the skill, the character, the vision, the depth, the understanding, the will and the values to be a mentor-father.
Every coach has been coached.
Every father has been mentor-fathered.
All over the world we see the results of children growing up without fathers, a generation without mentors. We don't realise when we are young that we need a father/mentor in our lives. We cannot bypass this stage in our lives, this need, this input in our lives. Not physiologically, emotionally or spiritually.
We need the journey, the process, the relationship of a mentor-father in our life, which will give us the skill, the character, the vision, the depth, the understanding, the will and the values to be a mentor-father.
Every coach has been coached.
Every father has been mentor-fathered.
To Journey With A Mentor-Father
Spending time with my mentor-father was quite an occasion. Many times he would go about his business and life and I would just sit and watch and learn. To me it was such a privilege to be part of his life and receive from being around him. How he treated his wife, his children, his duties, his relationships, his love of God was all a life lesson and experience for me.
The thing about it was that it was who he was. he wasn't teaching, instructing, commanding or demanding, he was just being himself. He didn't have a 10 point plan. He didn't insist I have to attend some seminar. He didn't even expect an offering, a contribution or a honoury gift. The fact of the matter is he was still learning himself about the power of the mentor-father role for his life as a leader. But yet, he was natural at it. I personally believe his secure sense of being, his confidence in being just who he was, was more powerful than any teacher of the principles with great revelation.
The journey lasted a number of years and still continues in a rich relationship even today. We do not live in the same city right now, but we correspond regularly and know each other in spirit regardless of time or space.
Someone said that I would be a deformed mentee because I was not in the same vicinity (or something to that like that). Immediately, he affirmed my relationship and told me to ignore such comments. We are still in a mutual beneficial relationship while those with the 10 point plan and regulation are not even around anymore.
Being a mentor-father is about being; about fulfilling a role that flows naturally out of who you are, without effort, without force, without coercion. It's about giving an impartation by being and being there. It's about imparting your presence, your life, your values, and your character to another.
Being a mentee is about being there to receive, to allow your worldview to be molded, your value system to be challenged, and your life to be influenced, until you can be without effort.
The thing about it was that it was who he was. he wasn't teaching, instructing, commanding or demanding, he was just being himself. He didn't have a 10 point plan. He didn't insist I have to attend some seminar. He didn't even expect an offering, a contribution or a honoury gift. The fact of the matter is he was still learning himself about the power of the mentor-father role for his life as a leader. But yet, he was natural at it. I personally believe his secure sense of being, his confidence in being just who he was, was more powerful than any teacher of the principles with great revelation.
The journey lasted a number of years and still continues in a rich relationship even today. We do not live in the same city right now, but we correspond regularly and know each other in spirit regardless of time or space.
Someone said that I would be a deformed mentee because I was not in the same vicinity (or something to that like that). Immediately, he affirmed my relationship and told me to ignore such comments. We are still in a mutual beneficial relationship while those with the 10 point plan and regulation are not even around anymore.
Being a mentor-father is about being; about fulfilling a role that flows naturally out of who you are, without effort, without force, without coercion. It's about giving an impartation by being and being there. It's about imparting your presence, your life, your values, and your character to another.
Being a mentee is about being there to receive, to allow your worldview to be molded, your value system to be challenged, and your life to be influenced, until you can be without effort.
Thursday 18 June 2009
Generational Mentor-Fathers
During this revolutionary time of my life, I was so eager to share the fact that not just being Sons was important, not just being great orators or whatever else we felt our 'calling' was, but that being mentor-fathers to other men and young men and our children was essential, with everyone I thought would listen. Well, I soon found out not everyone shared the same vision as I. This concept was not that popular then, and many times I was shrugged off as the extremist. ( Sometimes a little harsher than that!)
My heart burned with the idea that surely we are NOT to be 'working' just for our own legacy, but the legacy of the next generation, for our children and childrens children.
Yes, it would mean I may have to sacrifice my own importance and self-centered concepts of what is important to me. Yes, it may mean that I would have to have a major paradigm shift with regards to my personal value system and what my priorities would be. Few understood my passion for this ideal. I had caught a glimpse of the fact that with the investment of mentor-fathers another generation in our land in the world, in the church could be influenced to be strong, committed with a moral sense of destiny for their lives.
Like myself when I was growing up, I saw many children and young people sidelined in the priorities of life. "Children should be seen and not heard", was the quote I had often heard. "We don't understand these teen agers, hope to God they grow up soon and get out of the house" was another. What a missed opportunity!
My greates desire was to see the men in my circle of influence so impacted and shifted in paradigm that their children and their childrens children would carry the impact of it. I desired to see them grow up with me just to see the outcome.
But I did not even know where to start!
I just did the best I could with the wisdom and the knowledge I had at that time while searching and studying all I could lay my hands on to increase this skill.
Except for the man who was my mentor-father, there not many who knew how or even wanted the responsibility of mentoring me let alone others.
Mentoring takes time, commitment, sacrifice, vision, and love.
Mentoring is not something you can hasten through in a 10 week program.
Mentoring means you lay aside your agendas and the mentee becomes the agenda.
Mentoring means you have and work toward a long term vison and objective, very long.
Mentoring means you give up ambitions of popularity and 'greatness.
Mentoring means you will have to encourage (give courage), confront (challenge) and pay the price for it.
Mentoring is rewarding, but an obscure reward.
Devote yourself today to becoming a mentor-father by studying what it means and begin, even though you may feel inadequate, begin, someone one day will be thankful you did.
My heart burned with the idea that surely we are NOT to be 'working' just for our own legacy, but the legacy of the next generation, for our children and childrens children.
Yes, it would mean I may have to sacrifice my own importance and self-centered concepts of what is important to me. Yes, it may mean that I would have to have a major paradigm shift with regards to my personal value system and what my priorities would be. Few understood my passion for this ideal. I had caught a glimpse of the fact that with the investment of mentor-fathers another generation in our land in the world, in the church could be influenced to be strong, committed with a moral sense of destiny for their lives.
Like myself when I was growing up, I saw many children and young people sidelined in the priorities of life. "Children should be seen and not heard", was the quote I had often heard. "We don't understand these teen agers, hope to God they grow up soon and get out of the house" was another. What a missed opportunity!
My greates desire was to see the men in my circle of influence so impacted and shifted in paradigm that their children and their childrens children would carry the impact of it. I desired to see them grow up with me just to see the outcome.
But I did not even know where to start!
I just did the best I could with the wisdom and the knowledge I had at that time while searching and studying all I could lay my hands on to increase this skill.
Except for the man who was my mentor-father, there not many who knew how or even wanted the responsibility of mentoring me let alone others.
Mentoring takes time, commitment, sacrifice, vision, and love.
Mentoring is not something you can hasten through in a 10 week program.
Mentoring means you lay aside your agendas and the mentee becomes the agenda.
Mentoring means you have and work toward a long term vison and objective, very long.
Mentoring means you give up ambitions of popularity and 'greatness.
Mentoring means you will have to encourage (give courage), confront (challenge) and pay the price for it.
Mentoring is rewarding, but an obscure reward.
Devote yourself today to becoming a mentor-father by studying what it means and begin, even though you may feel inadequate, begin, someone one day will be thankful you did.
Raising Fathers
"Son, don't raise him just as a son, but as a father".
The words reverberated through my soul that evening as I looked at my oldest son sleeping.
My concern, like any father I am sure was, will my son grow up to be all he is supposed to be. Each of my boys are such a blessing to my life, and as I stood looking at my son sleeping, I was so proud and so thrilled and so awed at the task of raising him right.
But with these words a new dimension faced me in my responsibility as a father. I needed to be a mentor too. I realised just getting him through school and into the world and out of my hair could not and would not cut it with these words of a definite new role in my life.
Do you k now what new roles do to you?
They shift your paradigm or your world view or how you see things.
I couldn't just raise children anymore but now I had to raise fathers. I had to mentor them to raise another generation. To invest in another generation. As a mentor-father, my actions, my decisions, my investment would influence those yet to be born.
What you do as a mentor-father is going to go beyond what you can see. Good or bad.
It's going to strengthen, inspire, liberate, heal, seal, stabilise those you cannot yet see.Or weaken, breakdown, demoralise, discourage those you cannot yet see.
Our actions as Mentor-fathers go far beyond the time we live in.
live with purpose today toward that need you to father them.
The words reverberated through my soul that evening as I looked at my oldest son sleeping.
My concern, like any father I am sure was, will my son grow up to be all he is supposed to be. Each of my boys are such a blessing to my life, and as I stood looking at my son sleeping, I was so proud and so thrilled and so awed at the task of raising him right.
But with these words a new dimension faced me in my responsibility as a father. I needed to be a mentor too. I realised just getting him through school and into the world and out of my hair could not and would not cut it with these words of a definite new role in my life.
Do you k now what new roles do to you?
They shift your paradigm or your world view or how you see things.
I couldn't just raise children anymore but now I had to raise fathers. I had to mentor them to raise another generation. To invest in another generation. As a mentor-father, my actions, my decisions, my investment would influence those yet to be born.
What you do as a mentor-father is going to go beyond what you can see. Good or bad.
It's going to strengthen, inspire, liberate, heal, seal, stabilise those you cannot yet see.Or weaken, breakdown, demoralise, discourage those you cannot yet see.
Our actions as Mentor-fathers go far beyond the time we live in.
live with purpose today toward that need you to father them.
Wednesday 17 June 2009
Where Are The Fathers?
There is such an orphan cry from so many in the world: "Where are the fathers?", Who will father me?".
At one Sunday service, during that early period when I was being illuminated in the dimension of being a mentor-father, I sensed an urgent need to call all the men forward who had never been hugged by their father. To my surprise a very large part of the audience came forward. These included even older men who probably were grandfathers themselves by now.
As I went from individual to individual and hugged their neck whispering encouragement of a fathers love to them, many, many broke down and began to weep, experiencing a release from years of missing something that everyone needs in their lives - the love of a father.
I am not sure if it was the physical hug that I gave or just an acknowledgment on their part and subsequent affirmation of a fathers love that resulted in the reaction.
Even more surprising was the response from the women and young girls from the audience. It broke my heart to see their reaction. I wept as I affirmed each lady. Their pain from rejection and abuse and lack of love was so emotionally and visibly evident. But what a freedom permeated the auditorium that morning as we concluded the meeting.
Again, I could only go to my study later that day, and realise the huge need there was for mentor-fathers to invest in a hurting, rejected generation.
Do you realise that the kid next door, sitting next to you in church, or attending your child's or grand-child's school could be, and probably is crying out for the affirmation and acknowledgment of a mentor-father?
At one Sunday service, during that early period when I was being illuminated in the dimension of being a mentor-father, I sensed an urgent need to call all the men forward who had never been hugged by their father. To my surprise a very large part of the audience came forward. These included even older men who probably were grandfathers themselves by now.
As I went from individual to individual and hugged their neck whispering encouragement of a fathers love to them, many, many broke down and began to weep, experiencing a release from years of missing something that everyone needs in their lives - the love of a father.
I am not sure if it was the physical hug that I gave or just an acknowledgment on their part and subsequent affirmation of a fathers love that resulted in the reaction.
Even more surprising was the response from the women and young girls from the audience. It broke my heart to see their reaction. I wept as I affirmed each lady. Their pain from rejection and abuse and lack of love was so emotionally and visibly evident. But what a freedom permeated the auditorium that morning as we concluded the meeting.
Again, I could only go to my study later that day, and realise the huge need there was for mentor-fathers to invest in a hurting, rejected generation.
Do you realise that the kid next door, sitting next to you in church, or attending your child's or grand-child's school could be, and probably is crying out for the affirmation and acknowledgment of a mentor-father?
Monday 15 June 2009
The Quest
Mentor-Father, is not a role a person could just assume in a person's life. It is a place that has to, in a way, be given, earned and, certainly be destined.
As my heart began to yearn for more knowledge and skill of what a mentor-father should be, my quest was to discover how to do this. Personally, my own father had been good to me, but absent and lacking in passing on the skills of fathering. The father-mentor in my life was being an amazing inspiration and source of impartation to my life. His influence was creating a definite sense of being just who I am and need to be. Spending time with him on a regular basis fashioned me more and more into a secure self-sufficient individual capable of functioning without the constant approval of certain groups. This influence helped me to quit wanting to be like someone else or anybody else other than myself, simply because I didn't believe in who I was. I realised how that, my view of myself, had an impact on on how I functioned, how I related to others, especially leaders. Many didn't know I would just tremble inside when I spoke to them. I needed their acknowledgemnet; I needed their acceptance; I desperately needed them to approve of me. I worked so hard to have them as friends, to belive in me; and yet I couldn't find it there. The more I sought it, the more I seemed to be rejected, the more insignificant I seemed to end up feeling.
Except for the man who was destined, whom I had given permission in a sense, and
who through his own strength of character and open-heartedness, was now my mentor-father.
Outside of his influence, there were no books, CD's or DVD's about the topic to guide my thinking and understanding and quest to learn. No, I had to depend on the what I would learn through impartation.
Honestly, I now see that is the only way we can in fact learn this age-old skill, passed down from the Heavenly Father Himself.
Who has permission to impart the skills of the father's to your heart?
Who do you trust to leave behind in your life the understanding necessary to pass on the skill to another generation?
Is there someone you believe is destined to do this with you?
As my heart began to yearn for more knowledge and skill of what a mentor-father should be, my quest was to discover how to do this. Personally, my own father had been good to me, but absent and lacking in passing on the skills of fathering. The father-mentor in my life was being an amazing inspiration and source of impartation to my life. His influence was creating a definite sense of being just who I am and need to be. Spending time with him on a regular basis fashioned me more and more into a secure self-sufficient individual capable of functioning without the constant approval of certain groups. This influence helped me to quit wanting to be like someone else or anybody else other than myself, simply because I didn't believe in who I was. I realised how that, my view of myself, had an impact on on how I functioned, how I related to others, especially leaders. Many didn't know I would just tremble inside when I spoke to them. I needed their acknowledgemnet; I needed their acceptance; I desperately needed them to approve of me. I worked so hard to have them as friends, to belive in me; and yet I couldn't find it there. The more I sought it, the more I seemed to be rejected, the more insignificant I seemed to end up feeling.
Except for the man who was destined, whom I had given permission in a sense, and
who through his own strength of character and open-heartedness, was now my mentor-father.
Outside of his influence, there were no books, CD's or DVD's about the topic to guide my thinking and understanding and quest to learn. No, I had to depend on the what I would learn through impartation.
Honestly, I now see that is the only way we can in fact learn this age-old skill, passed down from the Heavenly Father Himself.
Who has permission to impart the skills of the father's to your heart?
Who do you trust to leave behind in your life the understanding necessary to pass on the skill to another generation?
Is there someone you believe is destined to do this with you?
Thursday 11 June 2009
Your Legacy, Your Significance.
I heard of a man whose father had died. He was reqested, by his mother to do the funeral. His father was not a very significant leader as far as the circles he moved in. He had been the minister of a small local church and had been a rather obscure figure in the city.
Upon arrival in the city the night before the funeral, the son decided to visit at his fathers little down town church to pay his last respects. Upon entering the building the lack of light caught him off guard and his made his way into the little auditorium he found himself stumbling over something and then again and again. As his eyes began to adjust to the dark he noticed that young men were laying in the aisles and between the pews.
These were young men who had come from all over the country to pay their last respects. These were the next generation leaders that his father had mentored and invested in over the years. This seemingly insignificant leader had invested himself in what others had not noticed or paid attention to.
Now my details may be sketchy, but this story I heard about 12 years or so ago, affected me deeply. The cry of my heart after hearing this was that I may influence many in this way.
What an honour to this mans life and work. What an honour to his time and investment. It wasn't about his legacy, his 'great' name, his great ministry. It was all about pouring his life into another generation.
I began to see that the only true legacy I could leave behind was in the lives of others. To deposit the little of my revelation and understanding into someones life was the most significant contribution I could ever make in this life. I was so stirred and inspired. And yet I was broken and feeling incapable of such a task.
Where is your focus?
What is your significance?
What are you leaving behind?
My call has been since then and still is "Where are the Fathers?","Where are the Mothers?"
Upon arrival in the city the night before the funeral, the son decided to visit at his fathers little down town church to pay his last respects. Upon entering the building the lack of light caught him off guard and his made his way into the little auditorium he found himself stumbling over something and then again and again. As his eyes began to adjust to the dark he noticed that young men were laying in the aisles and between the pews.
These were young men who had come from all over the country to pay their last respects. These were the next generation leaders that his father had mentored and invested in over the years. This seemingly insignificant leader had invested himself in what others had not noticed or paid attention to.
Now my details may be sketchy, but this story I heard about 12 years or so ago, affected me deeply. The cry of my heart after hearing this was that I may influence many in this way.
What an honour to this mans life and work. What an honour to his time and investment. It wasn't about his legacy, his 'great' name, his great ministry. It was all about pouring his life into another generation.
I began to see that the only true legacy I could leave behind was in the lives of others. To deposit the little of my revelation and understanding into someones life was the most significant contribution I could ever make in this life. I was so stirred and inspired. And yet I was broken and feeling incapable of such a task.
Where is your focus?
What is your significance?
What are you leaving behind?
My call has been since then and still is "Where are the Fathers?","Where are the Mothers?"
Tuesday 9 June 2009
The Mentor-Father
Where does a journey begin, really? It could start anywhere. But let me tell you where mine started - searching, unknowingly for a mentor-father. I was insecure and rejected by some whom i highly respected and needing the affirmation of a mentor-father. It just seemed nobody understood what that meant. I didn't even know what that meant.Until a friend explained it to me and suggested I request a certain man to be a mentor-father to me.
When I did it seemed that a weight lifted off of me that had kept me inferior for so long. His acceptance and unconditional love offered me a whole new world of understanding of myself and of others. No more would 'leaders' be out of my league. No more would I feel insignificant in their presence. No more would I have to do anything to 'earn' their acceptance and love. I didn't 'need' their acknowledgment anymore.
You talk about liberation! This was huge! Our journey since then has experienced joys and tests, but that commitment to journey together stood the test of time. What an understanding of mentor-fathering it deposited in me.
what a threat it became to others...
Till next time.
When I did it seemed that a weight lifted off of me that had kept me inferior for so long. His acceptance and unconditional love offered me a whole new world of understanding of myself and of others. No more would 'leaders' be out of my league. No more would I feel insignificant in their presence. No more would I have to do anything to 'earn' their acceptance and love. I didn't 'need' their acknowledgment anymore.
You talk about liberation! This was huge! Our journey since then has experienced joys and tests, but that commitment to journey together stood the test of time. What an understanding of mentor-fathering it deposited in me.
what a threat it became to others...
Till next time.
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