As a mentor/father you do not have all wisdom, all knowledge or all the revelation required.
I stressedso much trying to have the answers for every question, for every shortcoming and mistake from the mentee's. But in raising my own children I soon realised its not having all the answers that is required. In fact, its an insecure leader that needs everyone to chase after them, requiring them to have all the 'counsel' for their young lives and leadership. Rather, it is a true leader mentor/father that has the wisdom to guide the mentee into an understanding of their own ability to choose, to decide and listen to the dictates of their own conscience.
Many say they do, but their imposing rules, laws and conditions testify to a different condition and purpose altogether. Yes, there needs to be a set of guidlines, principles and boundaries for the relationship to operate in. Yes there needs to consequences to wrong behaviour. Yes there needs to corrections and disciplines.
But Are we not creating an emotional dependency on us, in a sense a CO-dependency through our needing the mentee "needing" us, and them never reaching the place where they do not need us.
A mentor oncesaid to me, "Why are these people not seeking my counsel, my wisdom? Don't they realise I am the one skilled in these things?". Hearing this, I wondered what it was that HE needed or though he needed. Was it not possible that they DID NOT need him right then? That if he had rather spent his time and energies investing in the relationships and providing acceptance, unconditional love, patient undestanding of where they were in the season of their lives, they would, when needed, seek his input, wisdom and counsel?
My own sons still call me and ask my input on various subjects and issues in their lives. Its such a privilege!
Yet, as I have always been, very sensitive to 'guide', rather than direct, to coach by helping them investigate the options, rather than impose my own personal idea and agenda.
Mentees and children more than anything desire and seek acceptance, and sometimes without them realising it, the opportunity to be educated in, listening and obeying the voice of their own heart, conscience and what flows out of their own character
Release them to hear and act upon the voice of God within them.
Allow them to take the initiative of their lives.
Have the strength of character to NOT be needed all the time, and it will take strength.
But be close by to give the needed acceptance, support when they miss it, affirmation and approval in their decisions and choices.
Believe in them, even when you think it should be handled differently, remembering its not your life and journey but theirs.
