"Dad", my middle son exclaimed."I really am the happiest and the most excited when we are planting, or doing church."
Wow~ My heart was stirred within me. That after all we have been through, that would still be his heart. As a father, that is all I could ever have wished for.
But now...How was I to see that fulfilled for him, for me. I feel so weary, so dispaired!
As each of my sons were born, there was a prayer and a cry in my heart, that one day, we would be able to serve together in great army of the Kingdom. This became a mission for my wife and me, as a father, to teach and train them in the ways of the Kingdom and to lead them to its true riches; to be their mentor and model first and foremost, before I was to any others.
But now, at this point, I felt a broken man, maybe a failure. How can I do this?
"Let's start again, Dad. You can do this! You are the best at it. You know how to reach people. God uses you Dad. More than in anything else." His words stabbed my heart. I don't even know in which city I belong anymore, let alone to what purpose. Oh my heart ached to be able to be the father I had set out to be years back.
So much had happened since then, since the day my Heavenly Father had spoken to me as I looked at my firstborn sleeping soundly, " My son, you are not raising a son , but a father."
This is going to be a story about my journey. The journey includes principles the Father taught me; the changes I made; the mistakes I committed; the fathers who impacted me, both spiritual and natural; and the dream I carry in my heart.
Please feel free to join me as I unfold my personal journey. I hope it instructs you in some ways, and heals me in many.
Monday 29 December 2008
Friday 21 November 2008
Choices
"You and I are essentially infinite choice-makers.
In every moment of our existence, we are in that field
of all possibilities where we have access to an infinity of choices."
— Deepak Chopra: Doctor and mind/body/spirit author
On the free teleconference call I did last night I quoted Albert Einstein who said:"
In every moment of our existence, we are in that field
of all possibilities where we have access to an infinity of choices."
— Deepak Chopra: Doctor and mind/body/spirit author
On the free teleconference call I did last night I quoted Albert Einstein who said:"
In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity."
Regardless of what the situation or crisis or circumstances, we can find opportunity. Its all based on the choice we make of attitude, of perspective and of possibility. You can choose to develop your skills; your knowledge; yourself; you can choose to serve your ability, your gift, your energy to someone even though you yourself may be in a tight place.
I remember my grand mother would give so much to others even though her and my grand father would be in dire need themselves, and I never knew them to be in place where they could find a way out of their situation.
Make wise choices today that will make and take opportunity in the midst of anything the world may offer.
Thursday 23 October 2008
Keep The Right Perspective
With a constant stream of 'bad' news, telling us that there is a world-wide financial crisis, we need to 'see' beyond the current state of affairs.
There is no denying what we are facing is serious and has been brought upon us by the greed and ultimately the fear of the world.
I learnt in a share trading course a few years ago that the economy and especially the share trading market where we find most investment taking place is kind of ruled or controlled by the emotions of greed and fear. Robert kiyosaki in Rich Dad, Poor Dad, said the same thing, declaring that based on the emotional state of the economy we should have without the goverments help been in a depression long ago, simply because the general feeling in the market is depressed.
But there is another side to this, a good friend who is geologist once shared with me that everything in the earth moves in cycles. He shared that with me soon after the tsunami, stating that shifts and moves take place on the earth as a matter of cyclical routine. At first I didn't agree, but now I see what he was saying is true.
Even business and markets go through cycles. Everything gets shaken. All that can be shaken will be shaken so that what cannot be shaken will stand.
Maybe we need a tightening of the proverbial belt for a time, but this is a great time for entrepreneurs and especially those who have their hope in another Source. Now is the time to begin looking for opportunity, make use of this time to begin thinking outside the box.
Don't look at what is falling; look at what stands.
Take hope in the fact that what goes up comes down, but what comes down also goes up again. Its a cycle.
Where do you stand?
There is no denying what we are facing is serious and has been brought upon us by the greed and ultimately the fear of the world.
I learnt in a share trading course a few years ago that the economy and especially the share trading market where we find most investment taking place is kind of ruled or controlled by the emotions of greed and fear. Robert kiyosaki in Rich Dad, Poor Dad, said the same thing, declaring that based on the emotional state of the economy we should have without the goverments help been in a depression long ago, simply because the general feeling in the market is depressed.
But there is another side to this, a good friend who is geologist once shared with me that everything in the earth moves in cycles. He shared that with me soon after the tsunami, stating that shifts and moves take place on the earth as a matter of cyclical routine. At first I didn't agree, but now I see what he was saying is true.
Even business and markets go through cycles. Everything gets shaken. All that can be shaken will be shaken so that what cannot be shaken will stand.
Maybe we need a tightening of the proverbial belt for a time, but this is a great time for entrepreneurs and especially those who have their hope in another Source. Now is the time to begin looking for opportunity, make use of this time to begin thinking outside the box.
Don't look at what is falling; look at what stands.
Take hope in the fact that what goes up comes down, but what comes down also goes up again. Its a cycle.
Where do you stand?
- Set a plan in place.
- See your future as a somewhere to go with confidence.
- Believe.Believe in the Promises that never change.
- Add faith to an amazing hope we have.
- The just shall walk by faith. Begin to walk.
- Take inventory of what you have in your hand. What skills and passions do you have? What has God given you that you can develop into an economic viable opportunity?
- Stay positive in your outlook and perspective.
Sunday 12 October 2008
Imperfect
A Chinese proverb says "Do something imperfectly, rather than nothing perfectly".
Isn't it amazing how we can 'sit on' ideas and be frozen in action because we do not feel what we have is perfect yet.
There are many things we do have to get right, and skills we need to aquire, but we will never have everything perfectly in order to start. A perfect start just doesn't exist. The best have started without any idea where they were headed but started anyway.
Take action and begin to move with what you have in your hand today. I mean wasn't that Moses excuse to the Lord when he was being sent to the Egypt.
Wherever you are sitting today, under whatever conditions, do not let the wall of perfectionism stop you from starting.
Do your reseach, develop a plan, make a decision, and then begin, begin, begin...
Opportunity never is lost. It always passes on to someone else.
Isn't it amazing how we can 'sit on' ideas and be frozen in action because we do not feel what we have is perfect yet.
There are many things we do have to get right, and skills we need to aquire, but we will never have everything perfectly in order to start. A perfect start just doesn't exist. The best have started without any idea where they were headed but started anyway.
Take action and begin to move with what you have in your hand today. I mean wasn't that Moses excuse to the Lord when he was being sent to the Egypt.
Wherever you are sitting today, under whatever conditions, do not let the wall of perfectionism stop you from starting.
Do your reseach, develop a plan, make a decision, and then begin, begin, begin...
Opportunity never is lost. It always passes on to someone else.
Tuesday 2 September 2008
You Have The Capabilities of Genius
"It's not that I'm so smart, it's just
that I stay with problems longer."
— Albert Einstein: is the father modern physics
Right now, no matter your education or experience, you have the capabilities of a genius. Perhaps you could write an incredible novel, paint an incredible work of art, come up with an incredible idea, or create an incredible invention. Don’t believe it? Just know that you don’t simply have days, weeks, or months — you have the rest of your life. Use your life to complete one inspiring work of genius, and you’ll inspire other geniuses in future generations.
FROM NIGHTINGALE.COM
Saturday 30 August 2008
A Force Of The Inner Man
There are powerful forces flowing from our inner man that affect our lives and of those around us. King Solomon said we should guard our hearts for out of it flow the forces of life. Although these forces 'feel' like strong emotions, they are in fact not emotions, but spiritual drivers that are revealed in our emotional states.
Of these, one that seems to be a constant among us, but also its opposite - forgiveness. Forgiveness is the powerful force we have to release the past of its hurts, violations, scrapes and bruises. Its the God-given ability of the inner man, to begin every day with a fresh approach to our future and not have have any dibilitating hindrances that keep us 'bound' by the chains of the past.
As powerful as the force of forgiveness is, so is the force of UNforgiveness. Unforgiveness, the strong force driven by holding to deep hurts, motivated by perceived injustices, feuled by misunderstandings, maintained by resentment and revenge and boiling anger.
Forgiveness, brings with it a healing as it releases, those that have been the perpetrators of the hurts or perceived hurts. Bearing in mind that, not all disappointment, offense and violations of our lives is on purpose, but comes as our perceived injustice to our lives, because it comes in violation of the way we want smething to be.
However, there are times when unrighteous injustice is inflicted upon us and abuse of our person and life takes place. That is when we have this powerful force of forgiveness. You see, the force of forgiveness is not only to release others who have have harmed us, but mostly, it is for us to experience the healing and tranquility of our inner man, through release of the guilty and the harm they have done.
Unforgiveness, on the hand, destroys our lives. It is a negative force, that in time, affets our mental and physical health, and not to speak of the disturbance it is to our inner man, our spirit. I would venture to say that, many are suffering physical ailments today, because the could not relinquish hurts and injustices of the past. It seems this force controls many in a very negative way, being a very negative force.
Unforgiveness is still operating, even when we say we have forgiven, but will not forget. To forgive is to release everything, and if we have, then we cannot and should not keep resurrecting the past, to our, and others detriment.
Forgiveness, means we treat the person as if nothing ever happened. An unforgiving force, however, will be revengeful and punitive, inflicting punishment through whatever justified means we can conjure up while looking innocent.
Do you punish by not speaking to the person, or maybe speaking about them to create a negative perception of their character?
Do you take revenge by withholding yourself from them in friendship, in fellowship?
It gets worse when we begin to insinuate, critisize, slate, accuse, become sarcastic, and then justify our stand.
All the while, though, we are beginning to, slowly at first, hinder and then, stop the life-giving forces of the inner man, that bring health and wellness to our lives and to others around us.
While holding to unforgiveness you cannot reach your full potential, in fact you will reverse your potential.
Of these, one that seems to be a constant among us, but also its opposite - forgiveness. Forgiveness is the powerful force we have to release the past of its hurts, violations, scrapes and bruises. Its the God-given ability of the inner man, to begin every day with a fresh approach to our future and not have have any dibilitating hindrances that keep us 'bound' by the chains of the past.
As powerful as the force of forgiveness is, so is the force of UNforgiveness. Unforgiveness, the strong force driven by holding to deep hurts, motivated by perceived injustices, feuled by misunderstandings, maintained by resentment and revenge and boiling anger.
Forgiveness, brings with it a healing as it releases, those that have been the perpetrators of the hurts or perceived hurts. Bearing in mind that, not all disappointment, offense and violations of our lives is on purpose, but comes as our perceived injustice to our lives, because it comes in violation of the way we want smething to be.
However, there are times when unrighteous injustice is inflicted upon us and abuse of our person and life takes place. That is when we have this powerful force of forgiveness. You see, the force of forgiveness is not only to release others who have have harmed us, but mostly, it is for us to experience the healing and tranquility of our inner man, through release of the guilty and the harm they have done.
Unforgiveness, on the hand, destroys our lives. It is a negative force, that in time, affets our mental and physical health, and not to speak of the disturbance it is to our inner man, our spirit. I would venture to say that, many are suffering physical ailments today, because the could not relinquish hurts and injustices of the past. It seems this force controls many in a very negative way, being a very negative force.
Unforgiveness is still operating, even when we say we have forgiven, but will not forget. To forgive is to release everything, and if we have, then we cannot and should not keep resurrecting the past, to our, and others detriment.
Forgiveness, means we treat the person as if nothing ever happened. An unforgiving force, however, will be revengeful and punitive, inflicting punishment through whatever justified means we can conjure up while looking innocent.
Do you punish by not speaking to the person, or maybe speaking about them to create a negative perception of their character?
Do you take revenge by withholding yourself from them in friendship, in fellowship?
It gets worse when we begin to insinuate, critisize, slate, accuse, become sarcastic, and then justify our stand.
All the while, though, we are beginning to, slowly at first, hinder and then, stop the life-giving forces of the inner man, that bring health and wellness to our lives and to others around us.
While holding to unforgiveness you cannot reach your full potential, in fact you will reverse your potential.
Wednesday 27 August 2008
It's Fun to Know
It's Fun to Know: Fruity Gifts
Would you pay $2,000 for a honeydew melon? How about $900 for a bunch of grapes? In Japan, these incredibly high prices are not uncommon. But we're not talking about your run-of-the-mill grocery store produce. These fruits have been painstakingly cultivated to be the most ideal specimens possible.
The Japanese don't buy these perfect, pricey fruits to eat them. They are extremely popular as gifts. It has to do with the ancient Japanese tradition of giving away the very best instead of keeping it for yourself.
(Source: Associated Press, Daily Express)
How To Make A Good Investment
What seemingly insignificant thing do you have in your hand today?
That which you have in hand, could be the key to transform a life, could be the seed of a brand new beginning for your life, may open an opportunity that goes beyond what you could dream about.
Often times, we allow our dreams, our visions of something significant taking place through us, to fade into the a state of wishful desire, lost in the daily pressing for the mundane.
What can I do?
Well, what is that in your hand today?
A small idea; a hand shake; a passion; a desire; a dream.
Sow it today. Begin to give it.
What is that in your hand Moses? A stick! Stretch it out and defeat the world's most powerful army!
You never know what lays before you, what lays beyond the next challenge, around the next corner. But if you do not 'sow' what you have in your hand, if you do not 'stretch it out', you may never know. Exercise diligence and plan what it is you can begin to do today that can carry you toward that God-given destiny written in your life.
The Chinese proverb says: A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
Look at your skills, look at your desires, passions, abilities, resources and begin today. It may begin with writing out what it is, what you have in your hand, in your heart. Writing out a plan, steps you can take today to move you in the right direction, could be the first, and probably is, the step you can take to realizing a transformation of the mediocre, the mundane and the hopeless.
Maybe you already have stepped out, but facing opposition, or have settled into the best you think you have, but there is always more. Stretch! Invest what you have, you; your small seed, that which is in your hand. Take another step toward the path of your significant destiny.And keep stepping.
One step could take you toward your significant destiny and begin an exciting journey of influencing your world, of transformation of lives, of investing only that which you can.
That which you have in hand, could be the key to transform a life, could be the seed of a brand new beginning for your life, may open an opportunity that goes beyond what you could dream about.
Often times, we allow our dreams, our visions of something significant taking place through us, to fade into the a state of wishful desire, lost in the daily pressing for the mundane.
What can I do?
Well, what is that in your hand today?
A small idea; a hand shake; a passion; a desire; a dream.
Sow it today. Begin to give it.
What is that in your hand Moses? A stick! Stretch it out and defeat the world's most powerful army!
You never know what lays before you, what lays beyond the next challenge, around the next corner. But if you do not 'sow' what you have in your hand, if you do not 'stretch it out', you may never know. Exercise diligence and plan what it is you can begin to do today that can carry you toward that God-given destiny written in your life.
The Chinese proverb says: A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
Look at your skills, look at your desires, passions, abilities, resources and begin today. It may begin with writing out what it is, what you have in your hand, in your heart. Writing out a plan, steps you can take today to move you in the right direction, could be the first, and probably is, the step you can take to realizing a transformation of the mediocre, the mundane and the hopeless.
Maybe you already have stepped out, but facing opposition, or have settled into the best you think you have, but there is always more. Stretch! Invest what you have, you; your small seed, that which is in your hand. Take another step toward the path of your significant destiny.And keep stepping.
One step could take you toward your significant destiny and begin an exciting journey of influencing your world, of transformation of lives, of investing only that which you can.
Monday 25 August 2008
Isn't It Time To Be A Contributor?
Isn't it strange how we think that the Golden Rule - do good to others - should be done to us.
Somehow people always feel that they need to be respected, considered, and be pampered.
I suppose that is in our psyche. We need to know we are important, that we are special and significant, and that we have value. We do receive a lot of our significance from others, unfortunately. We have such a need for others to approve us, simply because we have not found it in our own value, our own principles, because we don't believe in ourselves and what we have been created to be.
But that breeds an unreal expectation in what we think others should be 'giving' to us in acknowledgment, in approval, in consideration, in whatever it is we think and believe we need,
What we miss is, that the GR states,"Give to others, as you would have them give to you".
It is only in giving, that we understand receiving. It is only when we unselfishly, without agenda and motive, give what others need that we can begin to receive and even understand what it means.
While we are expecting others, constantly, to meet our emotional need, we will find ourselves in a constant need. Do you need a friend? Be a friend. Do you need consideration? Give consideration.
Why don't they ....?
Why don't they ...?
Why don't they ... ?
I heard an account of how Warren Buffet, in his early days, to learn the industry he was involved in, offered to work for nothing. As we know, the result of that 'giving' was how much he learnt and has been able to apply in amassing his own wealthy profile and become a charitable donor.
Instead of thinking, and behaving like everyone owes us a favor, is obligated to us, should be doing something for us, why not begin to contribute what it is we think we need. Be considerate, be respectful. Maybe even work for nothing and see how it opens 'doors' of opportunity to your life.
Everyone needs, and so they are very focused on their own needs, their own lives and, therefore, actually don't have time for yours. But, that is exactly where you can be begin to carve out a place in this world for yourself. Take the focus off you. Make others your agenda. It's amazing how others will respond to those who selflessly give and contribute to their 'need'. As you give what you can, what you are good at, what you believe you need, you will begin, in time, to see a remarkable path of giving begin to open to you.
The greatest significance does not come from receiving, but from giving.
Begin a life of bold contribution today. Give first. Give liberally. Give without expecting anything. Give because you can. Give because someone needs it. Give your pleasantness. Give your respect. Give your talent. Give and reach your full potential.
Somehow people always feel that they need to be respected, considered, and be pampered.
I suppose that is in our psyche. We need to know we are important, that we are special and significant, and that we have value. We do receive a lot of our significance from others, unfortunately. We have such a need for others to approve us, simply because we have not found it in our own value, our own principles, because we don't believe in ourselves and what we have been created to be.
But that breeds an unreal expectation in what we think others should be 'giving' to us in acknowledgment, in approval, in consideration, in whatever it is we think and believe we need,
What we miss is, that the GR states,"Give to others, as you would have them give to you".
It is only in giving, that we understand receiving. It is only when we unselfishly, without agenda and motive, give what others need that we can begin to receive and even understand what it means.
While we are expecting others, constantly, to meet our emotional need, we will find ourselves in a constant need. Do you need a friend? Be a friend. Do you need consideration? Give consideration.
Why don't they ....?
Why don't they ...?
Why don't they ... ?
I heard an account of how Warren Buffet, in his early days, to learn the industry he was involved in, offered to work for nothing. As we know, the result of that 'giving' was how much he learnt and has been able to apply in amassing his own wealthy profile and become a charitable donor.
Instead of thinking, and behaving like everyone owes us a favor, is obligated to us, should be doing something for us, why not begin to contribute what it is we think we need. Be considerate, be respectful. Maybe even work for nothing and see how it opens 'doors' of opportunity to your life.
Everyone needs, and so they are very focused on their own needs, their own lives and, therefore, actually don't have time for yours. But, that is exactly where you can be begin to carve out a place in this world for yourself. Take the focus off you. Make others your agenda. It's amazing how others will respond to those who selflessly give and contribute to their 'need'. As you give what you can, what you are good at, what you believe you need, you will begin, in time, to see a remarkable path of giving begin to open to you.
The greatest significance does not come from receiving, but from giving.
Begin a life of bold contribution today. Give first. Give liberally. Give without expecting anything. Give because you can. Give because someone needs it. Give your pleasantness. Give your respect. Give your talent. Give and reach your full potential.
Saturday 23 August 2008
To Character, or Not To Character
Stephen Covey in The 7 Habits of Effective People said, "The basic task of leadership is to increase the standard of living and the quality of life for all stakeholders".
Leadership is about who you lead, how you lead them and why you lead them. Leadership is a privilege afforded because of certain elements that have been learned or acquired through experience. One of them being maturity.
Why is it today that the focus is not on maturity in leadership, but on personality or performance; skill and 'giftedness'?
Maturity means the leader is balanced in his/or her leadership, carrying a deep sense of purpose and mission, secure, confident, taking initiative and upright. All in all this could be encapsulated in a word:character.
Somehow, today, it is assumed that 'gifting' and 'skill 'on a leader is the stamp of approval on their character as well. Not so. The character of leadership is found in the inner core values and principles by which the leader lives and conducts himself. These inner core values will be their guiding compass and the foundation of their own inner security of who they are. And that is why they are leaders, because they do not need others to prop them up and create a celebrity status, for them to know who they are and what their mission is. It is when they are so insecure that they need these, that they begin to use their strength to control the weaknesses of others, demanding compliance and agreement and imposing their own belief system on those they lead.
Leadership means I can lead others, influence others, to their own initiative and responsibility, to take charge of and leadership of their own lives, and thereby, bring a synergistic common focus and mission for the organization or task.
Where is the maturity of character in leadership that ensures they will lead regardless of popularity? they will lead with conviction of priciple? they will lead with the strength of their own security? that will lead with integrity? that will be able to experience disagreement/opposition without feeling they are losing their leadership? and most of all, that will lead with uprightness; moral and conscious principles aligned with foundational, unalterable principles that benefit and and increase the standard of living and life of all stakeholders?
Surely, if the leaders of today cannot lead with this kind of leadership, if we cannot find this leadership among us, what is to become of those that seek true leadership? that need leadership? what is to become of our society? what kind of generation of future leaders will we raise?
If our leaders do not have what it takes, if they do not have the fortitude of character to lead with upright conviction, if our spiritual and governmental leaders can compromise, justify and excuse themselves from weakness of character, immature conviction, and immoral principle, what is left for the rest?
I have encountered some leaders of such true and secure character, mature and principled, that have influenced, increased and uplifted my life, so that because I met and knew and was influenced by them, I am a better person today. But I have also encountered leaders large and small, who were so misaligned and insecure, that they tore huge holes in my own character and in those around them. The sad thing is, we are so hungry for and desperate for mature leaders that when a leader arrives with great flash and pomp, we gravitate to it, believing this will be the 'one' that can lead me to where I am designed to be, to my mission, to my purpose in life.
Let us begin to be, not so impressed with the great 'ability' of the leader, as much as, knowing and aligning with principled leadership of mature character.
Leadership is about who you lead, how you lead them and why you lead them. Leadership is a privilege afforded because of certain elements that have been learned or acquired through experience. One of them being maturity.
Why is it today that the focus is not on maturity in leadership, but on personality or performance; skill and 'giftedness'?
Maturity means the leader is balanced in his/or her leadership, carrying a deep sense of purpose and mission, secure, confident, taking initiative and upright. All in all this could be encapsulated in a word:character.
Somehow, today, it is assumed that 'gifting' and 'skill 'on a leader is the stamp of approval on their character as well. Not so. The character of leadership is found in the inner core values and principles by which the leader lives and conducts himself. These inner core values will be their guiding compass and the foundation of their own inner security of who they are. And that is why they are leaders, because they do not need others to prop them up and create a celebrity status, for them to know who they are and what their mission is. It is when they are so insecure that they need these, that they begin to use their strength to control the weaknesses of others, demanding compliance and agreement and imposing their own belief system on those they lead.
Leadership means I can lead others, influence others, to their own initiative and responsibility, to take charge of and leadership of their own lives, and thereby, bring a synergistic common focus and mission for the organization or task.
Where is the maturity of character in leadership that ensures they will lead regardless of popularity? they will lead with conviction of priciple? they will lead with the strength of their own security? that will lead with integrity? that will be able to experience disagreement/opposition without feeling they are losing their leadership? and most of all, that will lead with uprightness; moral and conscious principles aligned with foundational, unalterable principles that benefit and and increase the standard of living and life of all stakeholders?
Surely, if the leaders of today cannot lead with this kind of leadership, if we cannot find this leadership among us, what is to become of those that seek true leadership? that need leadership? what is to become of our society? what kind of generation of future leaders will we raise?
If our leaders do not have what it takes, if they do not have the fortitude of character to lead with upright conviction, if our spiritual and governmental leaders can compromise, justify and excuse themselves from weakness of character, immature conviction, and immoral principle, what is left for the rest?
I have encountered some leaders of such true and secure character, mature and principled, that have influenced, increased and uplifted my life, so that because I met and knew and was influenced by them, I am a better person today. But I have also encountered leaders large and small, who were so misaligned and insecure, that they tore huge holes in my own character and in those around them. The sad thing is, we are so hungry for and desperate for mature leaders that when a leader arrives with great flash and pomp, we gravitate to it, believing this will be the 'one' that can lead me to where I am designed to be, to my mission, to my purpose in life.
Let us begin to be, not so impressed with the great 'ability' of the leader, as much as, knowing and aligning with principled leadership of mature character.
Thursday 24 July 2008
The One Thing That Guarantess Failure Every time
What will guarantee your failure in any endeavor? Whether it is a business venture; a weight loss program; saving your marriage; an exercise program; your spiritual journey; whatever it is , this one thing will cause you to fail: EXCUSES!
What is an excuse?
Someone has defined it as a well-planned lie. We don't see it like that, but every time we give an excuse why we can't or why we shouldn't or why we didn't, we are giving a well-planned lie to reason away our lack of results. We cannot live by excuses. As a pastor I was sure there was a book listing all the latest excuses, because there were all the common one's and then every now and again a new one.
Our excuses could include blaming others, or the weather, or the circumstances, or the economy, or our parents, or leadership or some other obscure reason. But the fact of the matter is, you are the result of your reasoning,your excuses you have made for not getting results in your life.
One of the big ones that Christians use is that the Lord...
Have you noticed how often He changes His mind? Well, not really. Its really us. As soon as we hit a bump, an obstacle, a pressure point, as soon as it gets hard on our flesh or the seems to be a insurmountable problem, we say the Lord doesn't want me to do it anymore. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this. Maybe the Lord is revealing that its not His will.
O My goodness! We just make excuse after excuse and we get so good at them, that we actually believe our own excuses after awhile.
Let's leave those well planned lies behind and begin to believe we can find a way, that we can solve the problem, that we can finish what we start, that we can fulfill our commitments, that we can do that which needs to be done
What is an excuse?
Someone has defined it as a well-planned lie. We don't see it like that, but every time we give an excuse why we can't or why we shouldn't or why we didn't, we are giving a well-planned lie to reason away our lack of results. We cannot live by excuses. As a pastor I was sure there was a book listing all the latest excuses, because there were all the common one's and then every now and again a new one.
Our excuses could include blaming others, or the weather, or the circumstances, or the economy, or our parents, or leadership or some other obscure reason. But the fact of the matter is, you are the result of your reasoning,your excuses you have made for not getting results in your life.
One of the big ones that Christians use is that the Lord...
Have you noticed how often He changes His mind? Well, not really. Its really us. As soon as we hit a bump, an obstacle, a pressure point, as soon as it gets hard on our flesh or the seems to be a insurmountable problem, we say the Lord doesn't want me to do it anymore. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this. Maybe the Lord is revealing that its not His will.
O My goodness! We just make excuse after excuse and we get so good at them, that we actually believe our own excuses after awhile.
Let's leave those well planned lies behind and begin to believe we can find a way, that we can solve the problem, that we can finish what we start, that we can fulfill our commitments, that we can do that which needs to be done
Wednesday 23 July 2008
We Are Human
"If you don't change, reality in the
end forces that change upon you."
— Stuart Wilde: Metaphysical author, modern visionary
We're human. Therefore, for many of us, we don't change our eating habits until the doctors or diseases force us to. We don't change our spending habits until we have to sacrifice the things we love. We don't always embrace spirituality until our days on earth are numbered. It's the rare, but enlightened person who chooses to change before change is thrust upon him or her.
Hello....Hello....
Some simple action steps for improving your listening skills:
- Don't finish other people's sentences. There is nothing worse than having someone constantly finish your sentence, or put in a word when you are thinking of what to say. What's worse is they usually get it wrong. In the end you don't even feel like talking anymore.
- Don't daydream while the person is talking (it's easy to space out and start thinking about something irrelevant to the conversation). This can be really embarrassing for you. Ever have someone talking to you and you went off to another zone and they asked a question? When you came back to earth you discover you don't know the question and therefore reveal your wonderful interest in what they were saying. Pay attention.
- Plan your response after the person has finished speaking, even it means there will be a delay in the conversation. A bit of silence is well worth it. Think about what you are going to say. Again, many times people will speak without contemplating their response and the result being they have either misunderstood totally, or they address what was said insensitively. This can especially happen when you are listening with your mouth full of words ready to blurt out your response just because you have something to say, before they are even finished speaking. Be sensitive.
- Provide feedback in the form of rephrasing what you heard. Sometimes we are listening though our filters and don't hear what's behind the words, properly. By repeating you actually confirm the "heart" of what was said, and therefore can adress it correctly, not just assuming.
- Take note of non-verbal cues. They're an important part of communication. Watch the body language it will also assist in assessing the person's intention and motive in what they are saying.
Sunday 20 July 2008
A Sense That Makes The Difference.
At a business coaching session recently, someone said they wish they could have their employees go through a course on 'Common Sense'. Well, my response was, "I'm still working on that one", But it got me thinking about the concept of having some common sense.
Common sense is defined as the ability to make intelligent decisions in every day matters. At first, that seems like a daunting concept, that not every one can aspire to, but still its common sense. So, it should be something that everyone has or at least has access to.
Common sense, in its raw form, is the practical-abilty of using what you know. In other words, its the ability we have of applying our knowledge in a practical way to result in a productive outcome. Its a sense of foresight, of discernment, keeness, shewdness that we should be applying in every day matters.
So, this sense we should be applying, should be common among us, but I don't always see that. I don't believe I even always apply it to my own circumstances. When I look at the definition, I see more than just a "well its the right thing to do". No! This concept speaks of a deeper meaning, the ability to be practical with foresight and discretion for every day matters. And yet it should be common.
Well how do I get common sense?
King Solomon said that wisdom is the principal thing. Wisdom in its definition, is the skill to apply knowledge in every day affairs. Wisdom comes from God. Spending time with God and His word every day will begin to manifest as "common sense" in your life.
Taking time to think through a concept to make it practical. Many have a good idea or know what needs to be done, but just do not know how to practically apply it. Why wait for the big things in your life, start in the little things and the big things will get easier.
Jesus said the children of this world are more shewd than the children of light. He was talking in this sense about how they use their resources. People of the world manage their resources with far more foresight and wisdom and prudence and discernment, many times, than does the church.
We need to apply ourselves, take the time to let God teach you the principles of wisdom's discernment and insight and understanding. Let's begin to be practical minded about what we believe and know in this world. Let's apply what God has given us all, the thing called Common Sense.
Saturday 19 July 2008
Get Out The Box!
"Think outside the box!", they told me, but what they meant, I did not have the faintest idea. Looking back now, I didn't even know I was in a box. All my years growing up I had seen only seen one way of doing things from my parents. I was well aware that there were many others who lived better than us and accomplished more than us, but that was just their fate-their BOX.
As the years went on and I began to meet people and learn new things and be exposed to new mindsets, I discovered, I WAS IN A BOX. My life had been fashioned and dictated by a certain mindset, although sincerely, but sincerely wrong. Of course, we were totally convinced we were right, however the results and way we lived proved us wrong. I was rewarded and punished according to that mindset, and slowly but surely over the years my BOX was being formed for me.
With encounters with people of different mindset, I began to realise I needed a change in thinking, in mindset - I needed to think outside the box. Not only did I need this new pattern of thinking, but I also needed to put this thinking pattern into action. No longer could I be an expression only of what I was raised on, I needed to begin to form my own expression.
So, what does it take to get a new mindset and begin to set it into motion?
1. Firmly realise that not all you have been exposed to and taught is the total reality of life.
2. Read about and meet others who have stepped out of their box, and probabaly challenge yours.
3. Decide what roles you want to fulfill in your life and what those roles will accomplish.
4. Begin today to envision a new you in those roles. Allow the dreams and desires in your heart to begin to take shape, regardless of whether you, or others, think it possible or not.
5. Act. Take some action steps today, this week, this month and this year to move you in the direction of your vision, your dreams and desires.
Don't allow the box to limit you all your life. What box has been created to box you in? Begin to think outside that box!
As the years went on and I began to meet people and learn new things and be exposed to new mindsets, I discovered, I WAS IN A BOX. My life had been fashioned and dictated by a certain mindset, although sincerely, but sincerely wrong. Of course, we were totally convinced we were right, however the results and way we lived proved us wrong. I was rewarded and punished according to that mindset, and slowly but surely over the years my BOX was being formed for me.
With encounters with people of different mindset, I began to realise I needed a change in thinking, in mindset - I needed to think outside the box. Not only did I need this new pattern of thinking, but I also needed to put this thinking pattern into action. No longer could I be an expression only of what I was raised on, I needed to begin to form my own expression.
So, what does it take to get a new mindset and begin to set it into motion?
1. Firmly realise that not all you have been exposed to and taught is the total reality of life.
2. Read about and meet others who have stepped out of their box, and probabaly challenge yours.
3. Decide what roles you want to fulfill in your life and what those roles will accomplish.
4. Begin today to envision a new you in those roles. Allow the dreams and desires in your heart to begin to take shape, regardless of whether you, or others, think it possible or not.
5. Act. Take some action steps today, this week, this month and this year to move you in the direction of your vision, your dreams and desires.
Don't allow the box to limit you all your life. What box has been created to box you in? Begin to think outside that box!
Friday 18 July 2008
Trials...?
"The gem cannot be polished without
friction, nor man perfected without trials."
— Chinese Proverb
What do you call a person who breezes through college, lands the perfect job, climbs the corporate ladder with ease, and quickly makes a fortune? A fairy tale — it just never happens. Real life is littered with struggle, problems, mistakes, and lessons. And like a gem, each should be treasured because they are what will build your best life.
friction, nor man perfected without trials."
— Chinese Proverb
What do you call a person who breezes through college, lands the perfect job, climbs the corporate ladder with ease, and quickly makes a fortune? A fairy tale — it just never happens. Real life is littered with struggle, problems, mistakes, and lessons. And like a gem, each should be treasured because they are what will build your best life.
Saturday 12 July 2008
Motivational Quote
"Your life right now is a reflection of your past thoughts. That
includes all the great things, and all the things you consider not
so great. Since you attract to you what you think about most, it
is easy to see what your dominant thoughts have been on every
subject of your life, because that is what you have experienced."
— Rhonda Byrne: Australian writer and producer, known for The Secret
includes all the great things, and all the things you consider not
so great. Since you attract to you what you think about most, it
is easy to see what your dominant thoughts have been on every
subject of your life, because that is what you have experienced."
— Rhonda Byrne: Australian writer and producer, known for The Secret
Thursday 10 July 2008
Stress off
Hi
Here's a South African actor, Leon Schuster, that my family and I really enjoy, doing one his stunts. Its hilarious well we think so anyway.
Laughter is is as medicine!
Relieve some stress and have a laugh. Enjoy!
Here's a South African actor, Leon Schuster, that my family and I really enjoy, doing one his stunts. Its hilarious well we think so anyway.
Laughter is is as medicine!
Relieve some stress and have a laugh. Enjoy!
Wednesday 9 July 2008
"Is my world the same as your world?"
Why do people do what they do?
What we do is the result of a pradigm that we hold to. What is a paradigm?
It is perceiving our world from a frame of reference that we believe is reality.It isn't necessarily,but to that or from that paradigm, it is.
We all have our paradigms that have been fashioned over time through various factors that have influenced us to perceive the world in a certain way. These factors could have been family tradition passed down or through traumatic events or just the influence of educators, friends etc. Whatever way they have come, right or wrong, we all have them. And our paradigm is how we perceive the world. Its our reality.
But that doesn't mean that it is so. We may perceive that everyone is rejecting us, and so as a defence mechanism we reject, before we get the perceived rejection. So, now, everyone withdraws from us, because we are rejecting them, and our wrongly perceived view, we now feel, has been proven.
These paradigms are so real to us, that many times, we manipulate and 'control' the enviroment out of our perception of it, and it becomes a self-fulfilling 'prophecy'over our lives. The idea that everyone is against me, for instance, is just not real. However, can everyone be wrong and I am the only one right. In the way I perceive things, Is it not maybe because my paradigm is a little out of sync? We may try hard to 'fit in', but just experience more rejection,or more insecurity, or more gathering of like-minded paradigm people.
King Saul was absolutley convinved he had obeyed the Lord, when he was confronted by Samuel the prophet about why there was a lowing of cattle and a bleating of goats. Emphatically,and categorically he stated "... But I did obey...". Even though we know the command had been not to take anything, but yet in his paradigm for some or other reason he believed he was right. Of course, the next step was well the men, who were with him, wanted to keep the animals for a sacrifice. Wow! Now in his mind, in his paradigm, it was everybody else. He perceived the world and his actions as reality, and therefore had to be right and had to be acceptable. When confronted, it was now in this 'reality', everyones else's fault, not his.
What is perceived from our paradigm as reality, is not necessarily reality at all. It's not as it seems. Godliness, is to perceive the world from God's paradigm. To be transformed into Christ's likeness, is to be changed, in foundational paradigm, to a Christ-like perception of things.
People will destroy, manipulate, control, hold grudges, walk in unforgiveness, anger, bitterness, punish those around them, and feel totally justified because they perceive. out of their paradigm, this is what needs to be, this is reality. But it is just a skewed perception of the reality.
To have a change of behaviour, we need a change of paradim. We need to change the way we perceive our world. We need to understand that the way we perceive the world and our enviroment is not necessarily, reality. It's not always as it seems, to us.
What we do is the result of a pradigm that we hold to. What is a paradigm?
It is perceiving our world from a frame of reference that we believe is reality.It isn't necessarily,but to that or from that paradigm, it is.
We all have our paradigms that have been fashioned over time through various factors that have influenced us to perceive the world in a certain way. These factors could have been family tradition passed down or through traumatic events or just the influence of educators, friends etc. Whatever way they have come, right or wrong, we all have them. And our paradigm is how we perceive the world. Its our reality.
But that doesn't mean that it is so. We may perceive that everyone is rejecting us, and so as a defence mechanism we reject, before we get the perceived rejection. So, now, everyone withdraws from us, because we are rejecting them, and our wrongly perceived view, we now feel, has been proven.
These paradigms are so real to us, that many times, we manipulate and 'control' the enviroment out of our perception of it, and it becomes a self-fulfilling 'prophecy'over our lives. The idea that everyone is against me, for instance, is just not real. However, can everyone be wrong and I am the only one right. In the way I perceive things, Is it not maybe because my paradigm is a little out of sync? We may try hard to 'fit in', but just experience more rejection,or more insecurity, or more gathering of like-minded paradigm people.
King Saul was absolutley convinved he had obeyed the Lord, when he was confronted by Samuel the prophet about why there was a lowing of cattle and a bleating of goats. Emphatically,and categorically he stated "... But I did obey...". Even though we know the command had been not to take anything, but yet in his paradigm for some or other reason he believed he was right. Of course, the next step was well the men, who were with him, wanted to keep the animals for a sacrifice. Wow! Now in his mind, in his paradigm, it was everybody else. He perceived the world and his actions as reality, and therefore had to be right and had to be acceptable. When confronted, it was now in this 'reality', everyones else's fault, not his.
What is perceived from our paradigm as reality, is not necessarily reality at all. It's not as it seems. Godliness, is to perceive the world from God's paradigm. To be transformed into Christ's likeness, is to be changed, in foundational paradigm, to a Christ-like perception of things.
People will destroy, manipulate, control, hold grudges, walk in unforgiveness, anger, bitterness, punish those around them, and feel totally justified because they perceive. out of their paradigm, this is what needs to be, this is reality. But it is just a skewed perception of the reality.
To have a change of behaviour, we need a change of paradim. We need to change the way we perceive our world. We need to understand that the way we perceive the world and our enviroment is not necessarily, reality. It's not always as it seems, to us.
Monday 7 July 2008
Ingredients to a fulfilled life
Two ingredients, I think, are very important for a satisfied life, are PASSION and PURPOSE.
Passion is the driver and purpose the track that the driver can run on.
Passion could be defined as "a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept" or "an object of desire or deep interest". It also could be described as zeal or enthusiasm. It is the ingredient that keeps us focused and intense for the task ahead. Passion draws all the juices of my life into what I'm doing. Its really the reason I do what I want to do. Without passion, the task becomes dreary and mundane and I easily become bored with the concept and see no future or end to what the task involves. Passion comes because I am involverd with something that is my make-up, my slant, my 'ability'. It suits my personality and my mission in life. Passion is not excitement ( now this is not a study in the definition of terms, but rather a flow with semantics). Excitement, generally, will leave you disappointed if the expectation that you excitedly entered the task for, is not met.
People often ask me if I'm excited about the new venture, but my answer now is "Not really". What I am when I enter a venture, is passionate. It keeps me motivated and allows me to give my best to the task at hand. We need to be passionate about our mission in life, about our destiny. Many, lose their passion, either early in life or somewhere along the way. This is generally due to disappointments or external pressures from relationships, circumstances or misguided self-perceptions.
Passion is evident in how we talk, how we think, how we walk and how we approach life. An enthusiastic person will come alive when they talk about their passion, about their vision, their dream or their task. You will soon identify a passionate person or what a person is passionate about by how they enthuse themselves for the mission or task at hand. Enthusiasm , means to be inspired from within, to be in-breathed. Inspiration, the Bible says is to be God in-breathed."The inspiration of the All-Mighty, gives understanding, wisdom and skill." it says in Job. This is the wonderful ingredient that God has given us to live at a fulfilling level of our lives.
But passion needs something, it needs purpose. Purpose is the track that passion runs on taking it to the end destination. Whether it is a task, a career, a venture, a relationship, a life's mission, or just life, it needs this track called purpose. Purpose is like that strategic plan that keeps order and focus.
Passion with out focus becomes a lot of enthusiasm with nowhere to go. Have you seen people like that? They are all excited and enthusiastic, but are like a racehorse on a tread-mill. Not going anywhere. If you fail to plan, you have planned to fail, someone has said. Oh! and how true.
Without a purpose this great ingredient we have called passion or enthusiasm will be wasted breath and wasted energy. I love getting up every day with a knowledge of my purpose and where I'm going to direct my energies for the day, for the week and for my life. We need to take time to develop a strategic plan, so that we are moving in the right direction and not becoming frustrated with this treadmill thing, or just running out of 'place' somewhere on the our enthusiastic, passionate road... to nowhere.
If we don't have this purposed plan, with an end, a vision in 'sight', we are are on the road to nowhere and will experience the frustration and mundane boredom people, in general, experience every day, because they don't live passionately on purpose.
Passion is the driver and purpose the track that the driver can run on.
Passion could be defined as "a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept" or "an object of desire or deep interest". It also could be described as zeal or enthusiasm. It is the ingredient that keeps us focused and intense for the task ahead. Passion draws all the juices of my life into what I'm doing. Its really the reason I do what I want to do. Without passion, the task becomes dreary and mundane and I easily become bored with the concept and see no future or end to what the task involves. Passion comes because I am involverd with something that is my make-up, my slant, my 'ability'. It suits my personality and my mission in life. Passion is not excitement ( now this is not a study in the definition of terms, but rather a flow with semantics). Excitement, generally, will leave you disappointed if the expectation that you excitedly entered the task for, is not met.
People often ask me if I'm excited about the new venture, but my answer now is "Not really". What I am when I enter a venture, is passionate. It keeps me motivated and allows me to give my best to the task at hand. We need to be passionate about our mission in life, about our destiny. Many, lose their passion, either early in life or somewhere along the way. This is generally due to disappointments or external pressures from relationships, circumstances or misguided self-perceptions.
Passion is evident in how we talk, how we think, how we walk and how we approach life. An enthusiastic person will come alive when they talk about their passion, about their vision, their dream or their task. You will soon identify a passionate person or what a person is passionate about by how they enthuse themselves for the mission or task at hand. Enthusiasm , means to be inspired from within, to be in-breathed. Inspiration, the Bible says is to be God in-breathed."The inspiration of the All-Mighty, gives understanding, wisdom and skill." it says in Job. This is the wonderful ingredient that God has given us to live at a fulfilling level of our lives.
But passion needs something, it needs purpose. Purpose is the track that passion runs on taking it to the end destination. Whether it is a task, a career, a venture, a relationship, a life's mission, or just life, it needs this track called purpose. Purpose is like that strategic plan that keeps order and focus.
Passion with out focus becomes a lot of enthusiasm with nowhere to go. Have you seen people like that? They are all excited and enthusiastic, but are like a racehorse on a tread-mill. Not going anywhere. If you fail to plan, you have planned to fail, someone has said. Oh! and how true.
Without a purpose this great ingredient we have called passion or enthusiasm will be wasted breath and wasted energy. I love getting up every day with a knowledge of my purpose and where I'm going to direct my energies for the day, for the week and for my life. We need to take time to develop a strategic plan, so that we are moving in the right direction and not becoming frustrated with this treadmill thing, or just running out of 'place' somewhere on the our enthusiastic, passionate road... to nowhere.
If we don't have this purposed plan, with an end, a vision in 'sight', we are are on the road to nowhere and will experience the frustration and mundane boredom people, in general, experience every day, because they don't live passionately on purpose.
Thursday 3 July 2008
A great interview
This interview is recorded on the last post. I listened to it last night and was so impressed with the point of view expressed. With our young generation "losing faith" rapidly in the institution of marriage and sex rampantly being practiced outside of marriage, there surely needs to be some foundational 'answer' to this crisis.
[Click on the WEB EXTRA INTERVIEW on the previous post]
As the parents of this generation we lament the condition and as the church we frown upon and are horrified by the state of affairs in family and marriage. With divorce higher in the church than out, maybe we should be asking what we are doing wrong and not just condemning the 'world' for its influence.
As a pastor I probably have been guilty of the same 'pressure' on young person's relationships Mark Gungor speaks about here.
Don't we think it's time for us to grow up our children, by stopping to try and control the outcomes of their lives. allowing and rather assisting them to make their own decisions that will affect their futures. We fear so much that they must not have and can't have the same life as we have that maybe we are driving them to total irresponsibility of their lives.
Not only by our own lack of character to live Christlike and faithful to the covenant of marriage, but also by our misguided philosophy, we drive our children to a self-centered life of disloyalty and misguided irresponsibility.
Have a look at this interview and see its merit. Its not always the answer, but I honestly believe that there are huge foundational truths we are missing here.
[Click on the WEB EXTRA INTERVIEW on the previous post]
Michelle are married now for going on 27 years and we married at the young age of 21(me) and 18. We waited for 6 years to have children, but enjoyed each other tremendously and worked through our differences, even without a lot of help from the church or family. We never really dated and so didn't have to deal with that whole minefield. I never knew anyone else, and you know I am very glad that I can be devoted to one person for the rest of my life.
[Click on the WEB EXTRA INTERVIEW on the previous post]
As the parents of this generation we lament the condition and as the church we frown upon and are horrified by the state of affairs in family and marriage. With divorce higher in the church than out, maybe we should be asking what we are doing wrong and not just condemning the 'world' for its influence.
As a pastor I probably have been guilty of the same 'pressure' on young person's relationships Mark Gungor speaks about here.
Don't we think it's time for us to grow up our children, by stopping to try and control the outcomes of their lives. allowing and rather assisting them to make their own decisions that will affect their futures. We fear so much that they must not have and can't have the same life as we have that maybe we are driving them to total irresponsibility of their lives.
Not only by our own lack of character to live Christlike and faithful to the covenant of marriage, but also by our misguided philosophy, we drive our children to a self-centered life of disloyalty and misguided irresponsibility.
Have a look at this interview and see its merit. Its not always the answer, but I honestly believe that there are huge foundational truths we are missing here.
[Click on the WEB EXTRA INTERVIEW on the previous post]
Michelle are married now for going on 27 years and we married at the young age of 21(me) and 18. We waited for 6 years to have children, but enjoyed each other tremendously and worked through our differences, even without a lot of help from the church or family. We never really dated and so didn't have to deal with that whole minefield. I never knew anyone else, and you know I am very glad that I can be devoted to one person for the rest of my life.
Wednesday 2 July 2008
How to Find a Mate Without a Date
By Paul Strand
CBN News Sr. Washington Correspondent
June 28, 2008
CBNNews.com -- ENUMCLAW, Washington -- You go to college, you get a career going, then you find a mate.
That's pretty much the way the marriage game is played these days.
But is it the best way?
| WEB EXTRA! Pastor Mark Gungor Interview |
There's a small church in rural Washington that when it preaches God should be Lord of your life -- they mean that all the way -- right down to letting God pick your spouse.
Romance Half-Way 'Round The World
If we told you a young man and woman had agreed to marry without even meeting each other first, what Old World country do you think they'd be from? Well, this is a story about a young man from here in Enumclaw, Washington, and a young lady from Scotland who agreed to do just that.
Even before he was a teenager, Joshua Williams told his preacher-parents he didn't want to date and he didn't want to play the field to find a wife -- he wanted what Isaac and Rebecca had in Genesis -- a God-arranged marriage.
His mother Carla Williams remembered, "We had always encouraged our boys to wait on the Lord for their bride, and I had been praying for their brides since they were really little, and when he said that to me he was only about 10 years old."
Joshua clung to I Corinthians 7:27: "I was not to be seeking a wife, and I was taught that from a young age."
On the other side of the world, in Scotland, Kerry was also believing God for an Isaac/Rebecca marriage. "When I read that story, I just knew that's what God was saying: 'this is my plan. This is the perfect way marriage is supposed to be.' I really had that desire, that I wanted God to pick my husband."
Back in Washington state, not dating was tough sometimes for the teenage Joshua, especially in this bold new age when girls often chase the boys. Carla said girls would come up to her when she'd be volunteering at Joshua's school and say, "'Tell Joshua to ask me to the dance.' And I'd say 'No. He's waiting on God. You know that's his decision and I'm praying for that person. If you're not that person, what can I do about it?'"
And Joshua never wanted to go against the Word when dealing with the girls around him. "Scripture talks about we're to treat younger women with absolute purity."
After Joshua graduated high school, he admits he did sometimes despair about how he'd ever find a wife. But then when he was 20, his parents went to Scotland to do some ministry. Carla said, "We didn't go out looking for a bride for Joshua. When I went to Scotland, that was the last thing on my mind."
God Whispers
But they ran into 19-year-old Kerry at one of their first ministry meetings. And Carla remembers God right then speaking to her as she saw Kerry. "I walked into this room and she was coming in from the outside, and it was like 'woah!' and God just whispered in my ear, 'Joshua's wife.'"
Carla kept her mouth shut about this and prayed fervently to make sure she'd really heard the Lord, finally asking her husband about it half-a-week later. "And I said, 'what about Kerry?' And he said, 'Joshua' ... just as strong and determined as could be."
When they came back to the States, Joshua's dad asked him, "'How would you feel if we had someone for you?'"
Joshua knew this was certainly unorthodox, but he had a great peace about it. So he said he was on-board. And then, "... My mom called up Kerry and we say that she proposed for me."
Then, Joshua started e-mailing Kerry, his first note saying something like, "'... Hello, I'm going to marry you."
Kerry soon emigrated to Washington, and moved in with Joshua's parents months before the marriage, absorbing Carla's wisdom gained through three decades of marriage, "Learning from a real godly wife how to be a wife, and just how to serve, how to love."
Joshua and Kerry married in 2002. Now young parents, they tell the whole tale in their book The Perfect Date. And they minister together, taking to churches and conferences and church camps the Williams family message: God wants to be the Lord of who, when and even if you marry.
The Gungor Philosophy
After we'd interviewed the Williams family, we heard about Pastor Mark Gungor, author of Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage, and one of America's most popular and successful speakers when it comes to love and marriage. He disagrees with the Williams' belief that people should hear a word from the Lord before marrying. In fact, he finds no biblical evidence to support such thinking.
But in other beliefs, he's just as radical as the Williams clan.
For instance, he believes we're trying to force young people to wait far, far too long before they marry. Gungor told CBN News, "The thing that turns boys into men is marriage, responsibilities, children. That's what jerks the slack out of you. So while we're saying 'no, they're too immature, they're too immature' and we push it and delay, delay it ... they stay immature. Ask any girl, 30 years of age and single trying to find a guy to marry, and she'll tell you: 'they're all so immature.'"
Gungor said it's unrealistic for the church to expect endless abstinence from young people who are also told to put off marriage for many years. "And I would argue that if you can wait that long, then don't get married! Good grief, what does Paul say in Corinthians: the overwhelming reason to get married is a sex drive. Okay?"
And Gungor said we need to consider: are we pushing young people towards family and love, or away from it?
"The biggest factor to successful marriage is the involvement of family. Without question. So what do we do? We threaten our kids 'if you get married too young, I'll disown you.' So that when they do get married, the family pulls away from them ... leaves them out there hanging. Then they fail and everyone comes running in and saying, 'I told you so!'"
Gungor stated young people and their parents shouldn't let college or lack of money get in the way of marriage. "Man, if you were helping your kid if they were single and 20 in college, why because they're married now are you not helping them? What sense does that make?"
If they marry, start working, and the money's tight, he said parents should help them.
If they want to marry and continue college, he said again parents should help them.
And he added, "Every study shows that married college students fare better than single ones."
Family Should Be Involved
He went even further, saying relatives should help young people find a mate. "Family should play a huge factor in even helping you decide who to marry in the first place."
And Gungor pointed out, "For thousands and thousands of years, men and women got married because their parents got together and helped them decide."
Joshua's mother Carla totally agrees parents need to have a say. "It's our responsibility as parents to be one hundred percent involved in that."
Joshua and Kerry told CBN News they're so glad Joshua's parents always made it a priority to hear from God about his future and be involved. Joshua said, "Years before they even met Kerry there was the wrestling in prayer: 'what is God's plan for Joshua?'"
And Carla pointed out, if parents and kids both keep their eyes on God first, He'll lead when it comes to marriage. "So if you wait on Him, and not seek that and get all worried up about that and keep your mind on God, then God's going to take care of all that."
In the end, who do you trust more to pick the perfect mate: you or God? It's such an important decision, you do want to get it right.
Tuesday 1 July 2008
Enjoy your life!
As clergyman Henry van Dyke wrote nearly 100 years ago, "To be glad of life, because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars; to be satisfied with your possessions, but not contented with yourself until you have made the best of them; to despise nothing in the world except falsehood and meanness, and to fear nothing except cowardice; to be governed by your admirations rather than by your disgusts; to covet nothing that is your neighbor's except his kindness of heart and gentleness of manners; to think seldom of your enemies and often of your friends... these are little guideposts on the footpath to peace."
Everyone needs a mission for their lives; a purpose that they know is clear, meaningful and somehow influential to this world. It says of King David that he served his generation and then died. Without this meaningful mission it seems that life becomes just a sequence of mundane duties that has no inspiration or direction.
But this mission is more than just money or pleasure, which are so temporary in their ability to fulfill us. No, this mission is one that can be maintained and is inspirational in the face of the most trying of situations and circumstances. It will always ensure that there is a harmonious balance to all the facets of your life, and leave you sensing the deep knowing that you are experiencing your best life.
Have you spent time really looking at what it is you are 'called' to do here on this earth? What it is that you will do and should do that will serve this generation?
Have you written down this mission and purpose for your life and developed a strategic plan of tasks that will keep you on track to fulfill this mission for your life?
Don't just survive! life is too short for that. Enjoy every day. Live each day. Go to bed at night having that sense of contribution in some small way that will benefit this world because you were in it.
Tuesday 24 June 2008
A forgotten virtue?
Why humility?
- Humility makes us more likeable. It's that character trait that makes us more flexible and adaptable to the personalities of others, and allows them to adapt to us. Pride insists that everyone be like me, think like me and adapt to me. Pride breeds an exclusivity. Unknowingly, pride begins to exclude others from its 'world' because they may differ from it. Hurting and insecure people tend to do this with great emphasis. Groups, too, can become ingrown, but really it is a form of pride and lacks humility. Pride will tend to be unaccepting of the differences of others.
- Humility makes it easier to work with others. Humble people don't try and force their will off on others. They don't impose themselves on the will of others. They don't try and force their ideas and opinions off on others. They don't try and force strong-minded people to accept their ideas and opinions.
- Humility makes us more teachable. Humble people are willing to listen to the views of others and learn from those that may know more than them. Its pride that says we don't need others and that we know it all and cannot be taught. How about the person we think knows nothing or is not an expert in our field? Is it possible someone else can teach me something I haven't learned yet? Is it possible my opinion may not be the in the right perspective? Personally, I believe that our filters of discernment are sometimes discolored and motivated by a sense of pride, and therefore give us dogmatic approach to our own opinion and belief of issues. Humility means I can change, I can adapt.
- Humility is a confidence in the identity of who I am and Whose I am. Humble people are confident, not arrogant. They don't need to 'display' themselves. When we know who we are and who we are in Christ, we don't need to 'destroy' everything that is a threat to us. We are not threatened by that which is different to us or holds a different view to us, or may be stronger than us. Insecurity is a form of pride. It manifests as 'humility' but is really a pseudo form. Insecurity fears its 'position' or 'place' is threatened and therefore could lose it and be embarrassed. Embarrassment is the result of an anticipated loss of honor and dignity. But when you are confident in who you are, your sense of dignity and honor is not found in 'positions' and 'praises', but in a deep knowing, regardless of where you are found.
Sunday 22 June 2008
Self-discipline
A satisfied life comes from meeting your most important objectives. And that means doing what needs to be done, without wasting time or energy worrying about whether or not you feel like it. As the Nike slogan insists, "Just do it."
"When we develop the habit of plunging in without whining, complaining or procrastinating, we are on our way to genuine freedom," observes author Laurence G. Boldt. "We may not want to face it in such stark terms, but the choice is self-discipline or dependency; boss yourself or be bossed."
Friday 20 June 2008
Are We Really Trying? Excerpt from The Gift of Change: By Marianne Williamson
Everyone I know wants the world to change. All of us want to be part of the solution. We find the thought of the complete revolution of human values a very attractive idea. Everyone's all ready to sign up. Let's go!
But wait. You start to hear a few little complaints. "Can we do this when 'The West Wing' isn't on?" "Could I sign up for a slot between two and four on Saturday, when the kids are at soccer?" "Couldn't we meet in a nicer place?" We're the only generation in the history of the world that wants to reinvent society over white wine and brie.
Only inAmerica
They did have love in their hearts, however. And so do you and I.
I asked a friend what I should speak about at a talk I was to give in his bookshop, and he said, "Speak about the challenges of living a spiritual life today -- I mean, we all try so hard!" And I thought to myself, "No, we don't!"
For whatever reason, however, we keep telling ourselves we do. We're all revisionists these days, and we're not content to just revise our past -- we even revise the present. We seem to have a magical belief that if we describe ourselves a certain way, then it must be true.
We talk about how hard it is to live a spiritual life when we're not even meditating regularly or making the deepest effort to forgive those who have hurt us. Perhaps we have spent so many years in the classroom that "student mode" has become a habit.
It's time to graduate. Enough of us know spiritual principles now; we've read the same books and listened to the same tapes. It's time to become the principles now, to embody them and demonstrate them in our daily lives. Until we do, we will not really learn them at the deepest level. They will not inform our souls or transform the world.
And if that's the case, we will go down in history as the generation that knew what we needed to know yet didn't do what we needed to do. I can't imagine how it would feel, to die with that realization.
We've subscribed to a kind of ivory tower notion of spiritual education: keep it abstract and intellectual and safe. Yet the spoils of history usually go to those willing to get dirt underneath their fingernails.
I heard a woman talking recently about her frustration with politics: "We've tried so hard, and nothing ever seems to change!" I thought she must be joking.
Los Angeles
But wait. You start to hear a few little complaints. "Can we do this when 'The West Wing' isn't on?" "Could I sign up for a slot between two and four on Saturday, when the kids are at soccer?" "Couldn't we meet in a nicer place?" We're the only generation in the history of the world that wants to reinvent society over white wine and brie.
Only in
They did have love in their hearts, however. And so do you and I.
I asked a friend what I should speak about at a talk I was to give in his bookshop, and he said, "Speak about the challenges of living a spiritual life today -- I mean, we all try so hard!" And I thought to myself, "No, we don't!"
For whatever reason, however, we keep telling ourselves we do. We're all revisionists these days, and we're not content to just revise our past -- we even revise the present. We seem to have a magical belief that if we describe ourselves a certain way, then it must be true.
We talk about how hard it is to live a spiritual life when we're not even meditating regularly or making the deepest effort to forgive those who have hurt us. Perhaps we have spent so many years in the classroom that "student mode" has become a habit.
It's time to graduate. Enough of us know spiritual principles now; we've read the same books and listened to the same tapes. It's time to become the principles now, to embody them and demonstrate them in our daily lives. Until we do, we will not really learn them at the deepest level. They will not inform our souls or transform the world.
And if that's the case, we will go down in history as the generation that knew what we needed to know yet didn't do what we needed to do. I can't imagine how it would feel, to die with that realization.
We've subscribed to a kind of ivory tower notion of spiritual education: keep it abstract and intellectual and safe. Yet the spoils of history usually go to those willing to get dirt underneath their fingernails.
I heard a woman talking recently about her frustration with politics: "We've tried so hard, and nothing ever seems to change!" I thought she must be joking.
"Uh, no, we haven't. How many of us even vote?" I asked her. "And if we do, what does that mean -- we go to the voting booth every two or four years? Where do we get off thinking that we've tried so hard?" Are we thinking we made some supreme and noble effort to change the world, and it didn't work?! We've been so trained by thirty-minute sitcoms that if we don't get what we want in half an hour, it's like, uh-oh, we tried but failed. Too bad. It's over. Next.
Mother Teresa made a supreme and noble effort. Martin Luther King, Jr. made a supreme and noble effort. Susan B. Anthony made a supreme and noble effort. We have not made a supreme and noble effort. In fact, most of us make very little effort to change the world. But then we feel frustrated when we see that it's not changing!
Usually, when people say, "We've tried so hard!" they're not really talking about themselves. It's more like, "Well, there are other people I know who have!" It's laughable when you think about it. Perhaps we don't realize the big secret in our midst -- which isn't how little power we have to change things, but rather how much power we have that we aren't using! We're like birds who were never informed, or have forgotten, we have wings.
But a great remembering is reverberating among us, and whatever we've done or haven't done, succeeded at or failed at; whatever time we've used well or time we've wasted; we are here, we are available, we are present to the moment and up to the challenge.
All we need remember is this: if God has given us a job to do, He will provide for us the means by which to accomplish it. All we have to do is ask Him what He wants us to do and then be willing to do it.
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