The One Thing That Guarantess Failure Every time

What will guarantee your failure in any endeavor? Whether it is a business venture; a weight loss program; saving your marriage; an exercise program; your spiritual journey; whatever it is , this one thing will cause you to fail: EXCUSES!

What is an excuse?
Someone has defined it as a well-planned lie. We don't see it like that, but every time we give an excuse why we can't or why we shouldn't or why we didn't, we are giving a well-planned lie to reason away our lack of results. We cannot live by excuses. As a pastor I was sure there was a book listing all the latest excuses, because there were all the common one's and then every now and again a new one.

Our excuses could include blaming others, or the weather, or the circumstances, or the economy, or our parents, or leadership or some other obscure reason. But the fact of the matter is, you are the result of your reasoning,your excuses you have made for not getting results in your life.

One of the big ones that Christians use is that the Lord...
Have you noticed how often He changes His mind? Well, not really. Its really us. As soon as we hit a bump, an obstacle, a pressure point, as soon as it gets hard on our flesh or the seems to be a insurmountable problem, we say the Lord doesn't want me to do it anymore. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this. Maybe the Lord is revealing that its not His will.

O My goodness! We just make excuse after excuse and we get so good at them, that we actually believe our own excuses after awhile.

Let's leave those well planned lies behind and begin to believe we can find a way, that we can solve the problem, that we can finish what we start, that we can fulfill our commitments, that we can do that which needs to be done

We Are Human

"If you don't change, reality in the
end forces that change upon you."
— Stuart Wilde: Metaphysical author, modern visionary

We're human. Therefore, for many of us, we don't change our eating habits until the doctors or diseases force us to. We don't change our spending habits until we have to sacrifice the things we love. We don't always embrace spirituality until our days on earth are numbered. It's the rare, but enlightened person who chooses to change before change is thrust upon him or her.

Hello....Hello....

Some simple action steps for improving your listening skills:

• Don't finish other people's sentences. There is nothing worse than having someone constantly finish your sentence, or put in a word when you are thinking of what to say. What's worse is they usually get it wrong. In the end you don't even feel like talking anymore.
  
• Don't daydream while the person is talking (it's easy to space out and start thinking about something irrelevant to the conversation). This can be really embarrassing for you. Ever have someone talking to you and you went off to another zone and they asked a question? When you came back to earth you discover you don't know the question and therefore reveal your wonderful interest in what they were saying. Pay attention.
  
• Plan your response after the person has finished speaking, even it means there will be a delay in the conversation. A bit of silence is well worth it. Think about what you are going to say. Again, many times people will speak without contemplating their response and the result being they have either misunderstood totally, or they address what was said insensitively. This can especially happen when you are listening with your mouth full of words ready to blurt out your response just because you have something to say, before they are even finished speaking. Be sensitive.
  
• Provide feedback in the form of rephrasing what you heard. Sometimes we are listening though our filters and don't hear what's behind the words, properly. By repeating you actually confirm the "heart" of what was said, and therefore can adress it correctly, not just assuming.
  
• Take note of non-verbal cues. They're an important part of communication. Watch the body language it will also assist in assessing the person's intention and motive in what they are saying.
  

A Sense That Makes The Difference.

At a business coaching session recently, someone said they wish they could have their employees go through a course on 'Common Sense'. Well, my response was, "I'm still working on that one", But it got me thinking about the concept of having some common sense.

Common sense is defined as the ability to make intelligent decisions in every day matters. At first, that seems like a daunting concept, that not every one can aspire to, but still its common sense. So, it should be something that everyone has or at least has access to.

Common sense, in its raw form, is the practical-abilty of using what you know. In other words, its the ability we have of applying our knowledge in a practical way to result in a productive outcome. Its a sense of foresight, of discernment, keeness, shewdness that we should be applying in every day matters.

So, this sense we should be applying, should be common among us, but I don't always see that. I don't believe I even always apply it to my own circumstances. When I look at the definition, I see more than just a "well its the right thing to do". No! This concept speaks of a deeper meaning, the ability to be practical with foresight and discretion for every day matters. And yet it should be common.

Well how do I get common sense?
King Solomon said that wisdom is the principal thing. Wisdom in its definition, is the skill to apply knowledge in every day affairs. Wisdom comes from God. Spending time with God and His word every day will begin to manifest as "common sense" in your life.
Taking time to think through a concept to make it practical. Many have a good idea or know what needs to be done, but just do not know how to practically apply it. Why wait for the big things in your life, start in the little things and the big things will get easier.
Jesus said the children of this world are more shewd than the children of light. He was talking in this sense about how they use their resources. People of the world manage their resources with far more foresight and wisdom and prudence and discernment, many times, than does the church.

We need to apply ourselves, take the time to let God teach you the principles of wisdom's discernment and insight and understanding. Let's begin to be practical minded about what we believe and know in this world. Let's apply what God has given us all, the thing called Common Sense.

Get Out The Box!

"Think outside the box!", they told me, but what they meant, I did not have the faintest idea. Looking back now, I didn't even know I was in a box. All my years growing up I had seen only seen one way of doing things from my parents. I was well aware that there were many others who lived better than us and accomplished more than us, but that was just their fate-their BOX.

As the years went on and I began to meet people and learn new things and be exposed to new mindsets, I discovered, I WAS IN A BOX. My life had been fashioned and dictated by a certain mindset, although sincerely, but sincerely wrong. Of course, we were totally convinced we were right, however the results and way we lived proved us wrong. I was rewarded and punished according to that mindset, and slowly but surely over the years my BOX was being formed for me.

With encounters with people of different mindset, I began to realise I needed a change in thinking, in mindset - I needed to think outside the box. Not only did I need this new pattern of thinking, but I also needed to put this thinking pattern into action. No longer could I be an expression only of what I was raised on, I needed to begin to form my own expression.

So, what does it take to get a new mindset and begin to set it into motion?

1. Firmly realise that not all you have been exposed to and taught is the total reality of life.
2. Read about and meet others who have stepped out of their box, and probabaly challenge yours.
3. Decide what roles you want to fulfill in your life and what those roles will accomplish.
4. Begin today to envision a new you in those roles. Allow the dreams and desires in your heart to begin to take shape, regardless of whether you, or others, think it possible or not.
5. Act. Take some action steps today, this week, this month and this year to move you in the direction of your vision, your dreams and desires.

Don't allow the box to limit you all your life. What box has been created to box you in? Begin to think outside that box!

Trials...?

"The gem cannot be polished without
friction, nor man perfected without trials."
— Chinese Proverb

What do you call a person who breezes through college, lands the perfect job, climbs the corporate ladder with ease, and quickly makes a fortune? A fairy tale — it just never happens. Real life is littered with struggle, problems, mistakes, and lessons. And like a gem, each should be treasured because they are what will build your best life.

Motivational Quote

"Your life right now is a reflection of your past thoughts. That
includes all the great things, and all the things you consider not
so great. Since you attract to you what you think about most, it
is easy to see what your dominant thoughts have been on every
subject of your life, because that is what you have experienced."
— Rhonda Byrne: Australian writer and producer, known for The Secret

Stress off

Hi
Here's a South African actor, Leon Schuster, that my family and I really enjoy, doing one his stunts. Its hilarious well we think so anyway.
Laughter is is as medicine!
Relieve some stress and have a laugh. Enjoy!

"Is my world the same as your world?"

Why do people do what they do?

What we do is the result of a pradigm that we hold to. What is a paradigm?
It is perceiving our world from a frame of reference that we believe is reality.It isn't necessarily,but to that or from that paradigm, it is.

We all have our paradigms that have been fashioned over time through various factors that have influenced us to perceive the world in a certain way. These factors could have been family tradition passed down or through traumatic events or just the influence of educators, friends etc. Whatever way they have come, right or wrong, we all have them. And our paradigm is how we perceive the world. Its our reality.

But that doesn't mean that it is so. We may perceive that everyone is rejecting us, and so as a defence mechanism we reject, before we get the perceived rejection. So, now, everyone withdraws from us, because we are rejecting them, and our wrongly perceived view, we now feel, has been proven.

These paradigms are so real to us, that many times, we manipulate and 'control' the enviroment out of our perception of it, and it becomes a self-fulfilling 'prophecy'over our lives. The idea that everyone is against me, for instance, is just not real. However, can everyone be wrong and I am the only one right. In the way I perceive things, Is it not maybe because my paradigm is a little out of sync? We may try hard to 'fit in', but just experience more rejection,or more insecurity, or more gathering of like-minded paradigm people.

King Saul was absolutley convinved he had obeyed the Lord, when he was confronted by Samuel the prophet about why there was a lowing of cattle and a bleating of goats. Emphatically,and categorically he stated "... But I did obey...". Even though we know the command had been not to take anything, but yet in his paradigm for some or other reason he believed he was right. Of course, the next step was well the men, who were with him, wanted to keep the animals for a sacrifice. Wow! Now in his mind, in his paradigm, it was everybody else. He perceived the world and his actions as reality, and therefore had to be right and had to be acceptable. When confronted, it was now in this 'reality', everyones else's fault, not his.

What is perceived from our paradigm as reality, is not necessarily reality at all. It's not as it seems. Godliness, is to perceive the world from God's paradigm. To be transformed into Christ's likeness, is to be changed, in foundational paradigm, to a Christ-like perception of things.
People will destroy, manipulate, control, hold grudges, walk in unforgiveness, anger, bitterness, punish those around them, and feel totally justified because they perceive. out of their paradigm, this is what needs to be, this is reality. But it is just a skewed perception of the reality.

To have a change of behaviour, we need a change of paradim. We need to change the way we perceive our world. We need to understand that the way we perceive the world and our enviroment is not necessarily, reality. It's not always as it seems, to us.

Ingredients to a fulfilled life

Two ingredients, I think, are very important for a satisfied life, are PASSION and PURPOSE.

Passion is the driver and purpose the track that the driver can run on.

Passion could be defined as "a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept" or "an object of desire or deep interest". It also could be described as zeal or enthusiasm. It is the ingredient that keeps us focused and intense for the task ahead. Passion draws all the juices of my life into what I'm doing. Its really the reason I do what I want to do. Without passion, the task becomes dreary and mundane and I easily become bored with the concept and see no future or end to what the task involves. Passion comes because I am involverd with something that is my make-up, my slant, my 'ability'. It suits my personality and my mission in life. Passion is not excitement ( now this is not a study in the definition of terms, but rather a flow with semantics). Excitement, generally, will leave you disappointed if the expectation that you excitedly entered the task for, is not met.

People often ask me if I'm excited about the new venture, but my answer now is "Not really". What I am when I enter a venture, is passionate. It keeps me motivated and allows me to give my best to the task at hand. We need to be passionate about our mission in life, about our destiny. Many, lose their passion, either early in life or somewhere along the way. This is generally due to disappointments or external pressures from relationships, circumstances or misguided self-perceptions.
Passion is evident in how we talk, how we think, how we walk and how we approach life. An enthusiastic person will come alive when they talk about their passion, about their vision, their dream or their task. You will soon identify a passionate person or what a person is passionate about by how they enthuse themselves for the mission or task at hand. Enthusiasm , means to be inspired from within, to be in-breathed. Inspiration, the Bible says is to be God in-breathed."The inspiration of the All-Mighty, gives understanding, wisdom and skill." it says in Job. This is the wonderful ingredient that God has given us to live at a fulfilling level of our lives.

But passion needs something, it needs purpose. Purpose is the track that passion runs on taking it to the end destination. Whether it is a task, a career, a venture, a relationship, a life's mission, or just life, it needs this track called purpose. Purpose is like that strategic plan that keeps order and focus.

Passion with out focus becomes a lot of enthusiasm with nowhere to go. Have you seen people like that? They are all excited and enthusiastic, but are like a racehorse on a tread-mill. Not going anywhere. If you fail to plan, you have planned to fail, someone has said. Oh! and how true.

Without a purpose this great ingredient we have called passion or enthusiasm will be wasted breath and wasted energy. I love getting up every day with a knowledge of my purpose and where I'm going to direct my energies for the day, for the week and for my life. We need to take time to develop a strategic plan, so that we are moving in the right direction and not becoming frustrated with this treadmill thing, or just running out of 'place' somewhere on the our enthusiastic, passionate road... to nowhere.

If we don't have this purposed plan, with an end, a vision in 'sight', we are are on the road to nowhere and will experience the frustration and mundane boredom people, in general, experience every day, because they don't live passionately on purpose.

A great interview

This interview is recorded on the last post. I listened to it last night and was so impressed with the point of view expressed. With our young generation "losing faith" rapidly in the institution of marriage and sex rampantly being practiced outside of marriage, there surely needs to be some foundational 'answer' to this crisis.

[Click on the WEB EXTRA INTERVIEW on the previous post]

As the parents of this generation we lament the condition and as the church we frown upon and are horrified by the state of affairs in family and marriage. With divorce higher in the church than out, maybe we should be asking what we are doing wrong and not just condemning the 'world' for its influence.
As a pastor I probably have been guilty of the same 'pressure' on young person's relationships Mark Gungor speaks about here.
Don't we think it's time for us to grow up our children, by stopping to try and control the outcomes of their lives. allowing and rather assisting them to make their own decisions that will affect their futures. We fear so much that they must not have and can't have the same life as we have that maybe we are driving them to total irresponsibility of their lives.

Not only by our own lack of character to live Christlike and faithful to the covenant of marriage, but also by our misguided philosophy, we drive our children to a self-centered life of disloyalty and misguided irresponsibility.

Have a look at this interview and see its merit. Its not always the answer, but I honestly believe that there are huge foundational truths we are missing here.


[Click on the WEB EXTRA INTERVIEW on the previous post]

Michelle are married now for going on 27 years and we married at the young age of 21(me) and 18. We waited for 6 years to have children, but enjoyed each other tremendously and worked through our differences, even without a lot of help from the church or family. We never really dated and so didn't have to deal with that whole minefield. I never knew anyone else, and you know I am very glad that I can be devoted to one person for the rest of my life.

How to Find a Mate Without a Date

By Paul Strand
CBN News Sr. Washington Correspondent

June 28, 2008

CBNNews.com -- ENUMCLAW, Washington -- You go to college, you get a career going, then you find a mate.

That's pretty much the way the marriage game is played these days.

But is it the best way?

WEB EXTRA! Pastor Mark Gungor Interview

CBN News visited some people who say the Bible and thousands of years of experience and wisdom point to better ways.

There's a small church in rural Washington that when it preaches God should be Lord of your life -- they mean that all the way -- right down to letting God pick your spouse.

Romance Half-Way 'Round The World

If we told you a young man and woman had agreed to marry without even meeting each other first, what Old World country do you think they'd be from? Well, this is a story about a young man from here in Enumclaw, Washington, and a young lady from Scotland who agreed to do just that.

Even before he was a teenager, Joshua Williams told his preacher-parents he didn't want to date and he didn't want to play the field to find a wife -- he wanted what Isaac and Rebecca had in Genesis -- a God-arranged marriage.

His mother Carla Williams remembered, "We had always encouraged our boys to wait on the Lord for their bride, and I had been praying for their brides since they were really little, and when he said that to me he was only about 10 years old."

Joshua clung to I Corinthians 7:27: "I was not to be seeking a wife, and I was taught that from a young age."

On the other side of the world, in Scotland, Kerry was also believing God for an Isaac/Rebecca marriage. "When I read that story, I just knew that's what God was saying: 'this is my plan. This is the perfect way marriage is supposed to be.' I really had that desire, that I wanted God to pick my husband."

Back in Washington state, not dating was tough sometimes for the teenage Joshua, especially in this bold new age when girls often chase the boys. Carla said girls would come up to her when she'd be volunteering at Joshua's school and say, "'Tell Joshua to ask me to the dance.' And I'd say 'No. He's waiting on God. You know that's his decision and I'm praying for that person. If you're not that person, what can I do about it?'"

And Joshua never wanted to go against the Word when dealing with the girls around him. "Scripture talks about we're to treat younger women with absolute purity."

After Joshua graduated high school, he admits he did sometimes despair about how he'd ever find a wife. But then when he was 20, his parents went to Scotland to do some ministry. Carla said, "We didn't go out looking for a bride for Joshua. When I went to Scotland, that was the last thing on my mind."

God Whispers

But they ran into 19-year-old Kerry at one of their first ministry meetings. And Carla remembers God right then speaking to her as she saw Kerry. "I walked into this room and she was coming in from the outside, and it was like 'woah!' and God just whispered in my ear, 'Joshua's wife.'"

Carla kept her mouth shut about this and prayed fervently to make sure she'd really heard the Lord, finally asking her husband about it half-a-week later. "And I said, 'what about Kerry?' And he said, 'Joshua' ... just as strong and determined as could be."

When they came back to the States, Joshua's dad asked him, "'How would you feel if we had someone for you?'"

Joshua knew this was certainly unorthodox, but he had a great peace about it. So he said he was on-board. And then, "... My mom called up Kerry and we say that she proposed for me."

Then, Joshua started e-mailing Kerry, his first note saying something like, "'... Hello, I'm going to marry you."

Kerry soon emigrated to Washington, and moved in with Joshua's parents months before the marriage, absorbing Carla's wisdom gained through three decades of marriage, "Learning from a real godly wife how to be a wife, and just how to serve, how to love."

Joshua and Kerry married in 2002. Now young parents, they tell the whole tale in their book The Perfect Date. And they minister together, taking to churches and conferences and church camps the Williams family message: God wants to be the Lord of who, when and even if you marry.

The Gungor Philosophy

After we'd interviewed the Williams family, we heard about Pastor Mark Gungor, author of Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage, and one of America's most popular and successful speakers when it comes to love and marriage. He disagrees with the Williams' belief that people should hear a word from the Lord before marrying. In fact, he finds no biblical evidence to support such thinking.

But in other beliefs, he's just as radical as the Williams clan.

For instance, he believes we're trying to force young people to wait far, far too long before they marry. Gungor told CBN News, "The thing that turns boys into men is marriage, responsibilities, children. That's what jerks the slack out of you. So while we're saying 'no, they're too immature, they're too immature' and we push it and delay, delay it ... they stay immature. Ask any girl, 30 years of age and single trying to find a guy to marry, and she'll tell you: 'they're all so immature.'"

Gungor said it's unrealistic for the church to expect endless abstinence from young people who are also told to put off marriage for many years. "And I would argue that if you can wait that long, then don't get married! Good grief, what does Paul say in Corinthians: the overwhelming reason to get married is a sex drive. Okay?"

And Gungor said we need to consider: are we pushing young people towards family and love, or away from it?

"The biggest factor to successful marriage is the involvement of family. Without question. So what do we do? We threaten our kids 'if you get married too young, I'll disown you.' So that when they do get married, the family pulls away from them ... leaves them out there hanging. Then they fail and everyone comes running in and saying, 'I told you so!'"

Gungor stated young people and their parents shouldn't let college or lack of money get in the way of marriage. "Man, if you were helping your kid if they were single and 20 in college, why because they're married now are you not helping them? What sense does that make?"

If they marry, start working, and the money's tight, he said parents should help them.

If they want to marry and continue college, he said again parents should help them.

And he added, "Every study shows that married college students fare better than single ones."

Family Should Be Involved

He went even further, saying relatives should help young people find a mate. "Family should play a huge factor in even helping you decide who to marry in the first place."

And Gungor pointed out, "For thousands and thousands of years, men and women got married because their parents got together and helped them decide."

Joshua's mother Carla totally agrees parents need to have a say. "It's our responsibility as parents to be one hundred percent involved in that."

Joshua and Kerry told CBN News they're so glad Joshua's parents always made it a priority to hear from God about his future and be involved. Joshua said, "Years before they even met Kerry there was the wrestling in prayer: 'what is God's plan for Joshua?'"

And Carla pointed out, if parents and kids both keep their eyes on God first, He'll lead when it comes to marriage. "So if you wait on Him, and not seek that and get all worried up about that and keep your mind on God, then God's going to take care of all that."

In the end, who do you trust more to pick the perfect mate: you or God? It's such an important decision, you do want to get it right.

Enjoy your life!

As clergyman Henry van Dyke wrote nearly 100 years ago, "To be glad of life, because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars; to be satisfied with your possessions, but not contented with yourself until you have made the best of them; to despise nothing in the world except falsehood and meanness, and to fear nothing except cowardice; to be governed by your admirations rather than by your disgusts; to covet nothing that is your neighbor's except his kindness of heart and gentleness of manners; to think seldom of your enemies and often of your friends... these are little guideposts on the footpath to peace."

Everyone needs a mission for their lives; a purpose that they know is clear, meaningful and somehow influential to this world. It says of King David that he served his generation and then died. Without this meaningful mission it seems that life becomes just a sequence of mundane duties that has no inspiration or direction.

But this mission is more than just money or pleasure, which are so temporary in their ability to fulfill us. No, this mission is one that can be maintained and is inspirational in the face of the most trying of situations and circumstances. It will always ensure that there is a harmonious balance to all the facets of your life, and leave you sensing the deep knowing that you are experiencing your best life.

Have you spent time really looking at what it is you are 'called' to do here on this earth? What it is that you will do and should do that will serve this generation?

Have you written down this mission and purpose for your life and developed a strategic plan of tasks that will keep you on track to fulfill this mission for your life?

Don't just survive! life is too short for that. Enjoy every day. Live each day. Go to bed at night having that sense of contribution in some small way that will benefit this world because you were in it.