Be At Peace Mentor

1 Peter 4:8
Above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins [forgives and disregards the offenses of others]. 

Everyone has the opportunity to get offended or contribute to an offense. Mentor fathers not perfect by any means have to deal with this as a challenge as well on many occasions.

The skill of discerning when a mentee is giving an opinion, or stating a true condition, expressing an insight, or questioning for motive and clarity sake, rather than questioning
out of a rebellious, independant, despising or trying-to-be-difficult heart, will be a necessary to relate to the mentee without judgement, criticism or offense.

Accordingly, the mentor father then can reflect what the mentee is trying to communicate and assist them with their journey of understanding themselves ie. creating a sense of self awareness.

The challenge is not to get offended and allow the mentee's expression to influence you, or your attitude. But then, that's exactly what mentor fathers can do. They can listen and understand and accept without being afraid of being influenced. 

When they do get offended they easily admit, apologise, and ask for forgiveness for any mistakes.

Pre-judging a mentee's heart and motive flows out of the mentor father's  own critical and condemning  judgmental attitude. Personally, I think its always best to err on the side of grace and rather give opportunity for growth.

What do you do when there is a wrong motive in the approach?
Gently correct it at the right time.
King Solomon said a friend corrects faults and is loved because of it, but a betrayer shouts your praises with deceit. (Prov 27:6). A true friend will gently correct perceived wrong motives or faults with humility and with the mentee's personal growth in mind.

Mentor fathers do not contend or involve themselves in the contentious arguments that arise from issues of personality and accusations. Mentor fathers because they have walked a journey of experience and have taken time to learn the skills required, have skilled themselves in learning to educate and train themselves to listen to and obey their heart. 

The temptation to not involve themselves in contention flows from a peace that comes from the heart that comes from a trained ability to rest in their wholeness of who they are, and not be intimidated and insecure.

On a number of occasions I have been involved with or seen how insecure mentors have retaliated because they wrongly perceived the approach of the mentee as confrontational and so proceeded to 'attack', to protect themselves rather than to understand the heart and motive of the mentee.
But then again, I have been witness to a secure mature mentor father confidently and gently listening, understanding, and acting practically toward a mentee.

It takes maturity - maturity in discernment and maturity in self confidence - to 
overlook a fault, 
correct a fault, 
discern a motive,
not be affected or influenced by a motive,
build a mentee 
and allow offenses and contentions to not affect the relationship.

Rejecting a mentee outright because they enquire or question, smacks of immaturity or insecurity. I do suppose such a mentor father has not the peace of heart to journey with the mentee to bring the impartation needed for understanding and the patience to persevere with 'difficult' mentees.


Mentor are you developing your ability to live responsibly and obediently to your heart?
Are you developing the skill of discerning the heart of a mentee?
Can you listen with patience and understanding?
What are you still struggling with in your own character causing you to be insecure?
Do you have to defend your right to be right?
Are you harboring any offense against a mentee? Others?